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I Was Raped By My Husband

I am a greatful survivor of marital rape. I didn't call the cops because back in 1986 they never prosecuted marital rape. If you have questions for me please feel free to ask me!!
Paige42986 Paige42986 41-45, F 9 Responses Apr 13, 2011

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you should have put out .. it wouldn't have happened otherwise.

That was his right to do it

I always find these kind of comments by women puzzling. If things are that bad, then get out of the relationship. And frankly, I think that rape is a strong word for a sexual act between two married people. Regardless of the circumstances, marriage in itself implies some type of consent. Not total consent anytime you want it day or night consent, but yet some type of consent goes hand in hand with the notion of fidelity, which is the heart and soul of unity through marriage. It's simply not the same thing as being attacked by total strangers while walking to your car late at night. It seems like there are some deeper issues at work, like a lack of communication, a lack of trust, and denial. This is one issue where I feel like women are conveniently putting all the blame on the man. When it is more likely that the rape happened as a result of a deeply dysfunctional relationship, for which both parties are responsible for either fixing the issues or leaving the marriage. Aside from some external problem like drug addiction, this sort of thing just doesn't occur in a relationship between two people who love and care for each other very much. And if you really get down to the nuts and bolts of it, no one wants to say it, but everyone knows that all it really comes down to is you had sex with your husband 1 more time during the marriage than you wanted to. I totally understand the emotional aspect of it and sense of betrayal, but it's not really rape until the 2nd time, and any woman who stays for a 2nd helping is enabling abuse to continue in relationship that is beyond repair.

Hi Paige42986,
My ex-husband used to do the same thing to me but without the meds. I would have to have sex with him in order for him to pay our bills, buy food or to prevent him from going out.

I remember back when we were first together I loved making love to my husband and cherished him. I don't know how we got to the point of rape but that left me depressed and struggling day to day just to survive living under the same roof with him. God bless you for still being alive and trying to pick up the pieces. I know it isn't easy.

Every day I have to remind myself that i am blessed to be alive

Sorry to hear about your ordeal,

My husband sodomized me while I was out on Ambien. What a great guy, huh? I have the police report and am considering putting it around town as he's known all over. Wonder how all the people who love him would see that?

I feel so bad I was raped a little over a year ago by my boyfriend and his friend feel free to read my story I hope eventually you got over it and it you wouldn't mind If you did would you tell me how long it takes to get over the rape

Yeah in my stupid state it wasn't even considered rape until 2005ish. No really a husband couldn't be accused of raping his wife, sometimes even somewhat violently until that law change. I am sick of this place ...

yeah in 1986 there was no law here against marital rape. The old ***** of a dinosaur cop told me I should go home and do my wifely duty!

Wow Paige I am so sorry you had to deal with such a horrible experience.I hope you have healed or at least have delt with it best you can.I feel for you,glad you are on EP now and hope we chat too.