I Became An Eight-year Old Mother

Its all very blurry now, i had tried too block it, to shove it way down into my subconsious for so so many years. "Don't you ever go in a room alone with Uncle Kenny", "Those kids better not be with Kenny!", "Don't open the door when we leave you alone, not evem if its Uncle Kenny". These were the warnings my mother, father and several other family members gave me throughout my childhood, of coarse i never understood why, but it always made me wonder. I heard it from comedians all the time, every one has that one person of their family, or, everyone has that one uncle. Little did i know at the tender age of 7 that that was my uncle. It was somewhere in the middle of september, near my birthday, i heard the most wonderful thing a 7 year old could hear, birthday shopping spree with my favorite cousin shannon, Kenny's daughter. Of coarse i said yes, of coarse my mother wanted to say no, but their was no rational reason, or none that she could say to his face, he was my dads brother, not hers.
As i prepared to go my mom schooled me with the usual warnings, "make sure shannon is with you the whole time", "don't be in a room alone", "call me right away if you have to, we'll be there". I didn't know where we went, can't remember but it must have been some where close.
There are holes in my memory, i will eventually see a shrink, put them in order, and put the bastard behind bars, but for now i don't have anything but my word.
I can't remember what we did, can't remember whos house i was in, or how we got there, the only thing i remember was his face ontop of mine, the smell of smoke and beer breathing down my neck, me crying and cowering, not knowing what was going on, as he thrust himself in me over and over and over again. He held my face in his dirty hands and forced my to kiss him, his unshaven beard scratched my face, he tasted like dirt. The next thing i remember was him showing me a silver gun, warning me to never disclose what had happened.
Most people don't believe me, but i started my period early that august, i was tall and overdeveloped for my age, nearly 5'2 and buying B cups.
My birthday came and went, and so did the months, my period never came. I tried to forget the incident, already blocking and shoving it down, but even i had a basic knowledge of sex-ed and knew what had happened. I was pregnant with my uncle's baby.
I ran to the only person i could tell, my cousin shannon, my uncle had already ensured her silence. She was 17 at the time, and easily bought me a pregnancy test. As we both feared, it was positive. How would we keep this a secret, we had(after seeing what he was capable of)no doubt that my uncle would kill every person we knew if we told, but we couldn't let it go on, someone would notice a pregnant 8 year old.
Even though i wanted it, the thought of his child growing and feed of me made me sick, i couldn't get the abortion. He could never pull it of, he looked nothing like me and even though i was tall i still looked 8.
The next thing i remember was getting fatter and fatter, not alot though, (for a 8 year old yes) i was pretty round, not enough to look pregnant, but enough to look like i'd been hitting the chicken nuggets pretty hard.
Sorry for the huge gaps but, the next thing i remember was being in the clinic with my uncle and cousin (i pulled of a teenager pretty well) giving birth to the awful creature inside me, all i could think about was how much he would look like his father, how i could never love him, wishing i could take a gun and destroy the creature who was causing me so much pain.
They pulled the demon child out of me and had the nerve to show me its murderous face...
She was so beautiful, all my memories had been blurry up until that part, her face was so clear, she had my honey-colored skin, and her hair was tiny black curls staked high on her head, coming down around her face, my life seemed to revolve around her, nothing mattered to me, all i cared about was stopping her from crying. My heart sank as i pulled her closer and saw his green eyes staring through her face, but i didn't care anymore.
I held her for all of two seconds before she was ripped from my hands, she was branded the god-awful name "karin" (no offense to any karin's) handed to one of my many uncles that i can't remember and cut from my life, forever.

I don't know what excuse my uncle came up with to convience my mother to let me be alone with him again, perhaps another "shopping" trip, i can't remember her birthday, how i came to remember this awful event, or why i decided to keep it a secret for so long, i don't, or can't even remember which uncle took the only thing that gave me meaning.

She'll be eight soon and i look for her everyday on the internet, she's the only proof i have towards convicting the man that came between us. The internet has given me newfound powers to tell my story without fear, thanks for listening.
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2 Responses Jul 27, 2010

Why did he do that to you? He took advantage of your age and height to do that.

I am sorry that you had to endure that and at such a young age. I hope you find her and love her like no one else has. God bless you and my prayers are with you. If you ever want to talk, let me know.<br />
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