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I Was Raped 2 Years Ago

Okay, so the events. Excuse the frankness of this;
Im 34 now, and it was two years ago when it happened. I live in england and I dont currently work but my husband does, he is a teacher. I basically look after the house while he is out. There wasnt anything lacking in our relationship, we love each other very much and led good lives together as a very normal couple.
On the day it happened i was in the kitchen, doing various bits, there was a knock at the door and I opened it to find a boy I recognised as a a friend of my sons. I asked him into the kitchen, told him my son was out and we had a brief chat about various usuals. I didnt know him particularly well, only seen him a couple of times but Im always good towards my sons friends, try to make them feel welcome.
I turned my back, continuing to talk, and he grabbed my arm and bent it up behind my back really hard, grabbing my neck with the other hand. I was completely shocked and stunned. Its like being slapped by an old women in a in the street, you just think "what the hell??".
I was pushed face down onto our kitchen table.
He didnt say a word, nothing. I couldnt say anything, the pain in my arm was so great if I tried to move I just couldnt. He let go of my neck, and started pushing at my jeans. He got them down, with my underwear, to the middle of my thighs. There was a pause where nothing happened for a moment or too, then I felt his you know what against the back of me. He then proceeded to rape me. It didnt last overly long, couldnt tell you how long, but I did ****** at some point before he did. That was more shocking than him grabbing me. It started to build up from nowhere, I had time to panic internally, then it hit me.
When he finished, he stepped back from me and let go of me. I went down onto the floor and sat there crying and making noises. He started to call me things at that point, he said he 'knew Id come" and I was a ***** etc. I didnt say anything back to him. He continued to taunt me, saying crude things about me, my body etc. He started to get excited again, I could see that for myself. I knew what was coming at that point.
He said i was going to get it again, and pushed me flat on my back with my legs up because they were still in my jeans. He then raped me for a second time. This time was much longer, he took his time, I guess the panic for him was over. He was very rough with me, and touch me a lot. My body gave up at this point and I just lay there. Yes, at this point I could feel the sex side of it, and my body was responding in kind. I started to ****** again. He carried on until he finished.
He got up, pulled his pants up and said, "dont bother because you know you f'ing loved it you *****". Then he walked out.
I havent told anyone in my family or personal life, nor the police.
emilyrogers78 emilyrogers78 36-40, F 54 Responses Jan 28, 2012

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Bad thing to happen. tell someone. don't hold it within. You did nothing wrong, but wrong was done to you. You don't have to be worried about how your body responds. That shows you respond to physical touch--which is actually a nice thing. for that to be violated is very hurtful. It's something you would want to share with whom you love. Try to not be hard on yourself for doing nothing wrong and for responding in a way that was beyond your control. it is sad that happened. You have much to give to the right person--it is not something that should be stolen from you.

you should tell the police. Who might be next? He should not be allowed to get away with it and the fact your body orgasmed was not your fault - its like if someone frigs your clitoris for long enough and in the right way you'll *** - you can't help it
Whatever you do though, you have my best wishes and highest regards
xx

you need to tell them, you need to tell them all. You said your sex like changed and your self image, well, I;m sure your husband and family detected that and he possibly even thought it was trouble between you two. If you come forward and state that you need help I would hope that he could 'come to your aid' and it would strengthen your bond.

Again, yes to all. He said he knew I would love if he raped me.

And you did love it. You were a good girl for him even though you were older than him.Thats probably what excited you. A young boy shouldn't take control of an older woman. But he did and you responded by giving him the most intimate thing you could. An intenense ****** for him to enjoy. Like I said Good Girl.

Well, it happens that sex is enjoyed, even rape, and that embarrasses and makes the lie of you liked it, wanted it and deserved it even more believable to the victim. But that is SO wrong. It's not your fault your body reacted to a younger man being so turned on by you that he raped you. Still it's a crime, not your fault and shouldn't have happened. You need to tell the police about him, or he will notice he has been succesfull. So many rapists are unknown and therefore continue. If people have success with "evil" things, e.g. cheating in class tests and never get caught, they continue in bigger style. To protect other victims, weaker people, young girls, you have to make sure he is known for what he did. And to get over with this past, maybe you can somehow tell your husband that you like it to be taken roughly once in a while. Maybe he will aggree to roleplay rapeing. Giving a man cart blanche in sexual things is probably something he wont say no to, though if he really loves you he'll probably not like hurting you. Don't listen to those people here who say hot story. It is sad and wrong. Don't think you're guilty or bad or sick person for what happened and your reaction! Just if you report the police you might not wanna tell them that you liked it so much.

Thank you very much for the kind words. I wish I has much more such advise from sensitive persons like you. Thanks again.Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

Yes to all.

I bet he couldn't believe his luck. He must have read the signs that you needed a good, vigorous shagging. Sharing your ****** with him must make tou feel so ashamed but I suppose thet is part of what excites you. I bet you ********** thinking about it. How old was he? Did you groan for him when you orgasmed? What did he say to you afterwards?

I admire your courage in speaking out the truth....I understand exactly as I had a similar experience. I was raped by a man 19 years my junior....my sister's son in law! While I hated it, yet responded sexually.......coming to terms with THAT shame is still a process.

Wow, your sisters son in law. Did he make you ******? I bet he loved it when he knew he was making you respond. Was it the best sex of your life? Dou you become wet every time you see him?

how often did you do it again? regularaly now?

He raped me thrice. Not after that as I am married and took steps. But, the memory always excites....

Liked the update, anything else you would like to add ?

That was an unfortunate incident, have you had any run ins with him sense or you had no contact with him since !

I can imagine, how confused you are about your bodies response. You were violated,he had no right. Find you inner strength, do not be a victim again. You choose when your submissive no one else. B strong if u need to talk inbox me xxxx

Thank you for your sensitive reply.Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

So hot.

I'm so sorry that happened to u. Ur a beautiful woman n very brave to face this Alone. I hope ur doing ok now.

thanks for your understanding and support
I thank I am doing ok. after all this time I still think about it quite often and even wish it could happen again

I did not want the rapes to happen but it is still the best sex I've ever had

sometime I feel I am ashamed to have gotten so turned on during the rape and still get turned on by re living the event after all this time

the man in prison i hope

only doing what **** natural, sex between a man a woman is good, maybe not rape, but him and you was good for both too bad he hasnt *** for more.

I am SO glad this happened to you!

Emily, I certainly understand how you feel. the teen ager must have felt hesaw something in you that led him to commit the rape. the fact he raped you twice and that you climaxed twice probally made him feel he could get away with the rape

it is hard to believe he hasn't come back for more

has it resulted in you desiring something similar again?

I really loved your stories and pictures. I wish you would publish more on the same topics
I had a rape similar to yours only it was by a15 yr old boy who had broken into our home. I had been shopping and supprised him when I came home. he put his hand over y mouth and pushed me into the bedroom. he had knife and told me he would cut me if I didn't cooperate
as I undressed I ask him his name and how old he was. he sais 15 and would not tell his name
I told him I was old enough to be his mother and that my husband would b home shortly. he told me to shut up and he stared to undress
he had me take his penis which was fully erect in my mouth as he rubbed my breast and *****.
this lasted for just a few minutes when he had me lay on the bed and raped me
I didn't last long but I climaxed before he finished. I had never *** from penetration before
he touched me me for while then raped me doggy style I climaxed twice more. I have been thinking about the rape every day since the rape and become very excited. sometimes I wish it could happen again. during sex with my husband I think about the raped and have a strong *******
I wish I could get it out of my mind
do you have any suggestions?

go with it! if it turns you on and makes you ***, why would you want it to stop?

i not good understand who rape you did you go police made claim

How sorry

Can we be friends hoe do I make that happen

I would love to be your friend.....how does that happen?????

It must be very difficult for you
Is your son still friends with him and do you have to interact with him
That must be very difficult fo. You
I hope you are doing well

I have wondered about this. A rape counselor probably has experience and training in this area.

I can't believe these jerks who think or insinuated it was partly your fault or you secretly wanted it or encouraged it . It was rape for Christ's sake .

Bingo. She was raped. However titillating this may be as a fantasy, the reality is horrible. Part of the trauma is the guilt that ensues from being betrayed, as it were, by one's own body when brought to ******, a common experience for female rape victims.

You should have called the police .

i believe its an evolutionary response. before "civilization" males must have raped females all the time. surely it would have been the strongest and most dominant males. it is part of nature. females always put up resistance to test the male. we see this all through the animal kingdom. people tend to forget we are part of the animal kingdom. so when the male overcomes her fake resistance this turns the female on because thats what she really wanted all along. because of the feminist movement and political correctness in general females have trouble admitting this truth and feel like there is something wrong with themselves for having a perfectly natural reaction. they also distort the facts about rape and the motivation for it and portray the male as some kind of monster when he is in fact just doing what nature programed him to do.

This speculation is, I think, suitable as the basis of a fiction treatment of the subject. There is not, to my knowledge, any evidence of how our ancestors behaved. For all we know, relations between the sexes may have been more closely regulated and more tightly controlled than we perceive it to be now, in the US. Even today, there seems to be a wide variation among cultures, though anthropologists here and there state that the most important job a culture seems to believe it has is that of regulating sex. Our ideas about how "primitive" people lived are incomplete and may be wildly misleading. For example, some scientist are now saying that the life spans of well-fed primitive people were not short. This may imply anything we chose such as that men did not routinely have sex with young girls as they might be supposed to do in a world in which lives were nasty, brutish, and short. Some scientists are saying, as well, that for various reasons, early homo sapiens were taller than us, had larger skulls and brains, and were smarter than we are. If this is indeed true, perhaps it's reasonable to assume that they would they have behaved as though were smarter than we are and not like ignorant savages acting on primitive impulses.

so you think CAVEMEN were more civilized and LESS likely to rape the naked females all around them than modern man?? common sense would indicate the opposite. of course nobody can PROVE THIS, especially to someone like you who wishes to believe the opposite, because none of us were actually alive 1,000,000 years ago, but it MUST have happened ALL THE TIME.

You weren't raped, you lived out a fantasy and you enjoyed it...just stop trying to blame anyone else for your fantasy, enjoy it and have as many more as you want but take responsibility for your desires.

She was raped and scarred by the experience. In this country a woman does not need the testimony of four male bystanders to corroborate her claim that she was raped.

you are allowing your emotions obscure your logical mind.

From what I've read, your experience is similar to that of many women who have been raped.

I think that he summed it up well,you f'ing loved it and deep down you know that you loved it.************ while you think of the rough and vigorous screwing he gave you is probably your only way of getting true satisfaction now. The second time he had you it sounds like you submitted completely and gave yourself to this boy.I bet you were thrusting and moaning just as much as he was. Totally dominated and taken by a boy young enough to be your son. Are your knickers wet now, reliving the experience?

I am surprised he has not returned - knowing deep down, that you wont fight him again.

rape is rape im sorry hun