Saying Goodbye: The Adopton

According to my calculations, she came right on time. The doctors had her coming a few days later. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl on May 2, about 42 hours after that sick bastard (a friend of my boss) forced himself into my mouth - I was probably in prelabor! When my water broke I walked out the back door of my apartment for several blocks, then got a cab and went to a hospital a few towns over. I did this because I was worried I might be under surveilliance from the jerk who got me pregnant in the first place. The baby was born naturally just a couple of hours after we got to the hospital. I went with a twoparent middle-class household for the adoption of the baby. I figured a single mother might be too dependent on men who hurt their kids (my mom's boyfriend didn't hurt me too much, just enjoyed spanking me a little too much, shall we say) and the father of a wealthy family might think ke owns everything -which was the case with my roommate's father who brutalised me. I did a semiclosed adoption, which means both the birth mom and the adoptive parents don't meet but we can exchange letters through an uninterested 3rd party and I can write letters to the baby, later the parents can tell her about them if they want. I did tell the parents in a letter that she was a child of rape so it is up to them whether they tell her. A part of me is happy it wasn't a boy because then I think he should Know he has violence in his genes. Anyway, that's what's going on with my story - I love my girl. but could have never raised her. Now I need to find out how to go from here with safety. I post here in EP to get support. Someone told me there are rapists out there who read these posts and get off of them but I'm not going to stop because I think most who respond are sincere and I want to help others. I wish you all love not violence!
nottheend1 nottheend1
18-21, F
May 12, 2012