The Beginning: ****** Rape

I was first raped by my brother, Deedie, who is two years older than me when I was around six or seven. At that time, we lived in a one-bedroom house because my parents were financially unstable at that time.

Our family would go back to third street in Marrero whenever they hit financial hardships, they stayed in my grandma's old house but since she'd gotten sicker and was bedridden, my Auntie Mary decided to take care of her. My daddy probably also wanted to be near his family since we were never around them hardly ever. He probably wanted to be around his mom in her final days.

My mama had three teenagers from another marriage (along with my older brother from my father) all slept in the front room on a king-sized bed. The younger kids (including myself) slept on a mattress in my parents room.

The first time it happened, I was around six or seven. It happened while both my parents were in the room along with quite a few of my siblings. After that, I felt disgusted and didn't know how to explain what happened. Since it happened days after that, I knew I couldn't talk about it because no one in our family talked about the cycle of abuse.

So, that's what I thought my brother would do but the second time it came approaching, I pushed it again. He came from the back and got more aggressive. I didn't know what to say or if I should tell or not because this had never happened to me before. To top it off, my parents and the rest of my siblings were in the room talking and playing. I think he even was doing this to my mentally retarded sister as well. He came in and out of me while I felt ashamed and escaped in my mind from what he was doing.

It happened again when I was ten, probably before my second abuse (check out this story in the group, "I Have Been Sexually Abused" at EP Link This time he asked my younger brother, David (one year younger than me) to participate with him.

They both asked me to check something out outside. We still had a great relationship as brother and sister despite what had happened before especially since I had chosen to block it out of my mind and he was still moving forward as a normal boy in his life, so why couldn't I move on.

That time I felt like I was duped, like I was worthless and no one would understand what was happening so I kept it to myself.

After that, I never spoke to him or my younger brother about it again, they never bought it up, and neither did I. When I grew older, I never felt resentment or that they meant me no harm but I was upset at myself for allowing this to happen twice, and by the same brother from before. 

When we turned into teenagers, and puberty sunk in and I began to notice boys around my age and older, my younger brother asked me why I couldn't love him the way I loved my crushes and my other boyfriends?! Huh?! Was he serious?! I tried to explain to him that we didn't have the same kind of love, that we were siblings, and that my love for those guys was only infatuation - but he didn't get it.

A part of me feels like he didn't ever get it but as he got his own girlfriends, he knew my feelings for them and for him was different. Although a part of him does continue to go around choosing girlfriends that remind him of me because he has sort of an infatuation. I think we'll need to work with each other on what he wants more of for himself than this twisted obsession.



Dimples87 Dimples87
26-30, F
120 Responses Jun 13, 2008

I have saved the story and if I ever notice you delete it I will post it again word for word.

why would you do that? what would be the purpose?

Your story is quiet sad

I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I'm proud of you for coming out and hoe that you get the help you need from a Sexual assault centre in your area. What your brother did was wrong, but unfortunately due to the mild age gap it would be considered child play and nothing more. I hope that doesn't stop you from getting help, because this is still damaging for you. Anyways I wish you the best.

Strang feelings

My sons father little sister just came to me with this & I don't know what to do or how to feel.. He's the father of my child & I can't even trust him around my son !

@seekerof: I don't think this story was meant to be erotic. if you weren't such a dipshit you'd know that. freak.

I was raped by 2 brothers and a friend of theirs. More happened that I Idon't remember. I have amnesia and time is missing. I lost who I was. I have never met anyone this happened to before. My child person is destroyed. I remember a leaf from one time. Now if I get hit or pushed beyond reason I black out and almost killed someone once but that was many years ago. I didn't remember anything from 14 years old back. Its a long story and I don't share. Don't put anything on here about me and think it gives you sexual pleasure. I will be in your nightmares the day you struggle to take your last breath. The air I am easily inhaling and exhaling will be used by me and not you and know I am breathing and you are unable to.

It's very difficult for myself. My step brother and biological brother gang raped me in the basement. I still fee the chills of the concrete floor they threw me on. It'll get better. God Bless.

Hi dimples87,
I wont tell that i understand what u feel coz i really dont...but as a male i wud definetly apologize from ur brothers i am sure they havent apologized for wat they had done to an innocent creation of god....god bless u bravegirl....

thank god u realised it soon nd didnt allow ur brothers to further molest or rape u..

The scares may never go away, hope the creator gives you the strength to get pass this

Hi there my name is SACH,
cool and fun,
studying actor from the UK,
please befriend me,
I entertain with intent,
feel free to view my profile and stories beforehand
to get a fun feel

HOPEFULLY YOU LIKE IT...............

I have a ton of respect for Rape victims,
am not one of them,
but highly empathize with life after death,
and how strong of a emotional impact this can have on a person -
especially if its one of your family members,
or more than one...........

Always judge a person thousand timez coz its a great disaster with nowadays generation. they hav lost self-control but only advice is take care n god bless u evn i was unable to read the whole story. No sympathy but lot of support n blessings.

Ur story sexy how much for one night, baby?

Can we make that a double penetration

another freak *******.

******* *******! you being turned on by someone's painful experience shows what a freak you are.

hey talking abt god is bullshit. first of all i dont believe god. plus what i have read abt god is thst they are sinful as we are..example god punish certain women to death for not having her his way as written on bible. hindu good brahma ****** his own daughter..god? they are lies and deceits of man kind..

Sorry Dimples that you had to go through that, real sorry.

i really dont have any idea why these kinds of things happens.I mean he/she is like your own blood,how could such a person made by God became monster and a devil at the same time.

Hello Dimples87,
Do you mean the remark about Sigmund Freud? I studied a lot about Freud getting a degree in Psychology, but only recently heard that what he treated was mostly mother/son problems. My remark was meant to go to the origins of such behavior; Freud treated mainly upper-class Jewish women (and no, this is not a slam at the Jews-I support Israel completely) whose children were generally turned over to a nanny to raise. This lack of familial bonding at an early age is felt to be the cause of the problem. In the brother/sister case, I think it was just childish curiosity which went further than it should have. I lost contact with them while they were still young and have no idea how things turned out in the long run. If you want to understand such behavior better, try looking up Genetic Sexual Attraction. On a personal level, I find such behavior horrifying and cannot imagine it happening in my own family.
I hope this answers you question.

I have only known of one brother/sister ****** case; it was consensual, and both parties enjoyed what they did. It is of interest to me that Sigmund Freud dealt mainly with ****** cases, but between mothers and sons.

I was young but knew what was happening was wrong, so I didn't enjoy it. I never knew that Sigmund Freud never dealt with ****** cases of the such as you said. But why did you make that comment, idiotinlove2?

Look at his profile.Youll see why.

I figured he is a freak even without going to his profile. I thought ep had cleaned out the trash like him? they're harder to get rid of than roaches.

hope things are better, was sexually abused as a kid my self. know the many feeling that you have. You are not alone.......

I hope you were able to put it all behind you. Sorry!!
I think it was well written but sad.

To me this story is not even close to being graphic and really does not contain a lot of sex at all. People who have never been through anything at all do not understand this. People sometimes do not want to believe bad things happen yet they do everyday, good luck to you in your journey.

The story has been edited for the purpose that people were misconstruing the purpose of the story and a lot of comments said it was too graphic before. So, I get that. Thanks for your comment.

From what I read this story does not focus too much on sex. It shows a childs innocence and that we only know the family we are brought up in.

Dimples, I would just delete any inappropriate comments. As you say, it's your story and you can tell it how you want. The way you tell the story it is very easy to understand how things happened in the way they did.

I just edited it, it was written too explicit before, at least according to some people. Thanks, Orangetas, your help is appreciated and the comment is mutual for me saying it like I want but every comment is valuable, to me even if they're disgusting. Helps me understand others mindsets.

I would like to see the unedited version of this one day.

Your full of it.. How are you helping someone bu this story? to much sexualt content. You did not find any solution to help prevent rape. This story is more of what kind of brothers you have really. about your brothers mind being all twisted...

This is my story and how I decided to tell it. I don't think everyone else should tell it like I did. How could I, a kid, younger than my brother, prevent rape? You are full of it if you think this sort of act on innocence was preventable.

I'm sorry about what happened to you, and your a kind person by trying to help other people. But your way to specific. It wasn't necessary for you to describe the penis or how you moved your butt cheeks that made him turn on. that is ridiculous. please rewrite it!

I'm sorry for what had happened Dimples.... Hope you're ok now

Please ignore the people who say this story sounds fake, or are leaving other inappropiate comments. I'm sorry this happened to you. Please do not delete, you story is sure to help others, and I'm sure writing it helped you. God bless.

so sad

Your story is heart breaking, and I think you are so very brave for speaking up about it.
I pray that you can get past this horrible experience and attain the happiness and respect you deserve :)

I to am a ****** suvivor but it was my dads side of the family the hole family

hey dimple i really dont undrstnd how r u helping other abused people by telling dis story of urs.. i m not doubting ur intenstion... bt its beyond my undrstndng.... can u explain??

If other people see how I had the bravery to tell my story, hopefully a little girl or boy who is being sexually abused right now reading this is going through the same thing can tell their story. By writing their story, someone they know can reach out to them (in the same place or state) and help them to escape the abuse.

hi, indeed a sad thing with you and i agree to that feel of urs with which u expressed ur anger on getting insane and sick replies. Its like our tears and laugh for others.<br />
Dimple, i won't lie to u or to anyone on this project about anything of m life. <br />
I have been in similar conditions put by an family known guy,one of my aunt who is twice as much of my age and in the end my own brother. Therefore i do can understand what u have gone through and what u still feel when those memories come to ur mind..

I don't know what to say...but i am very sad by reading your story.... Please forgive me for my poor english... I honestly feels that i should do something for u, . Something that should cure your internal wounds. . . . . .

You speak English better than you think 2khan86. You don't have to do anything for me, the Most High is providing me with all I need and could ever want. I'm working on curing my internal wounds through the ways I know how to. Thanks for your comment.

I know how you feel my younger brother did it to me and I felt totally helpless because even though he is younger than me he was bigger and stronger than me

Thanks for sharing, Dimples87. I just want to say that it's not a women's issue. It happens to boys and men, too. Perhaps I will share my story here, too.

Thanks, Ryhmeswithcandy, I agree wholeheartedly. It's a damn shame that kids all over the world has to go through this. I wish you do share your story because you never know who it'll help.

Trully its ****** I have women in my family and ex gf's who had this happen some being uncles and fathers. Reading storys like this make me mad because how the poor womrn in this story was raped and molested its not right that people let this happen. should have things happen to them that I dont wanna speak of and I hate it becuse this chick i know is raped by her brother and then her bf turns around and says its his job to do that i really hope that she will open her eyes and see what a monster she loves.

Sorry to hear about the women in your family and ex girlfriends that this has happened to. Sadly, this is an international story. I hope a lot of people open their eyes up to what's really going on.


PS - forgive my poor english

a question : wy did u not tell any1 if it traumatized you that much ?<br />
<br />
an advice : next time u meet ur family , tell ur mom or dad about this issue and refer them to a psychiatrist<br />
<br />
if ur elder brother tries to threaten u ..... u threaten him back with this... its bettr not to have such brother.... i hope this helps..,....<br />
<br />
WAT if ur brothers are doin the same to some other girls right now... u hv got to report this issue .... take it from me... or ull REGRET

I never told anyone because I didn't know how or rather I was afraid it would damage my relationships with my brother to a point of no return. When my sister told about one of my cousins sexually abusing her, she was made to be the promiscuous one from my mother (who had also been abused as a child and teen from her own dad) and I didn't want to be seen as a villain. I've met with my family a lot since this has happened. But both my parents are deceased now and this issue is behind us because my brother has apologized since then and now it feels like a weight has been lifted off of both of our shoulders. I don't believe he's doing this to other girls and if he were, I'd know the signs and couldn't live with myself without reporting it.

I understand1

good to know that he is not same person as b4

Wow. I'm glad he apologized. That takes courage.

Sometimes kids do things that felt ok at the time, but we later realize are wrong.

Sometimes the way we feel changes, too. I have found that EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) works VERY well for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

Consider learning how to do this and find a partner or group where you can tap on these issues together.

What kids need to be told is "Say 'no', get away, tell someone."

As adults, what we need to hear is "You're a good person, It's not your fault, You didn't do anything wrong."

Hope this helps.

1 More Response

My hart bleeds for you may you live a life of happeness if you can put it behind you <br />

i feel very sorry what happend to you that not true love thats abusement

@ seekerof: you need to take your filthy stories elsewhere and i've flagged your comment on this story just as i flagged your story. people like you are a menace to this site.<br />
<br />
dimples, i wouldn't blame you a bit for deleting the comments of the twisted people who get off on reading about a child being sexually abused. absoulutely disgusting.

Amen to that Jerrica

thank you. that guy and the others that find this story arousing are sick.

I have been there myself and like you I did not know what to do either.. In one night an older foster brother came into my room. He told me to turn over, and to spread my legs. I did not know what he was going to do. I was afraid of him. <br />
<br />
He was violent but he gave me something to eat. It was so hurtful and I was crying because of the pain. I never told anyone. Whenever, the weekend came, he would come usually one time during the weekend. I am not sure if it happened every weekend or not. I do not want to be unfair.<br />
<br />
I then was moved to another foster home and the foster father there fondled me but never raped me.I never said anything for a long time. Now those who hurt me are dead. I have long forgiven them. One time I forgave my foster father in person before he died. My foster brother I never saw again.

I'm sorry this happened to you and hope that you can find healing now that the abusers are out of your life. Please look into seeking some sort of counseling and/or therapy to heal your body, mind and soul. *Hugs*

Its so terrible,I did'nt knew this kind of things existed.

so you were 6 or 7 and your brother was maybe 9.? rape? ******? or maybe something a lot less.

There will always be those that don't understand. Who don't know how things happen . The hurt, the pain of a family member abusing you. Of taking your trust. <br />
The pressure of still loving that person, matter what has happened.<br />
Be strong.

Im so sorry you went through so much pain

I `m so sorry something as awful as this happened to you.The same thing happened to me with my 9 brothers. I know hwo you feel,sad,angry,filthy,trodden,and sick to the stomach.

it is very sad

I went through the same thing. Till this day Ive only spoke about it once to my fiance. It is difficult to go through. I was so ashamed of myself. I always wondered what people would think of me if I told them especially my fiance. I finally got through my trauma after realizing it wasnt my fault. Its nobody. We are just unfortunate to experience this and live with this haunting memory...

Thank u 4 helpin me

I feel this is a terrible situation for a young girl to be put through they should be locked up they did wrong

EI was sexually abused as a child.. 6 or 7.My babysitter 16 took me<br />
Swimming he was my cousin.. He took us home and took me into the bathroom.. He said I should tak a shower and he undressed me and got me into the tub. He told me to stand naked in front of me as his erction poked me..he then made me put my ear under the runningwater from the tub.. As a younger child he molested me in my grandmothers home in my sleep.. He also chased me with a kitchen knife in between one beleived I chose to not tell anyone accept his mothe but the proof was not there accept my blocked memories.. I then yelled at him for not only sexually abusing me but also for molesting his sisters young girls.. they came to me in our childhood as we wher 10 or younger.. I yelled at him to leave our life and he threatened to kill me and convince people in our family I was lying .. I belive god does his works in mysterious ways ..I was shoked to hear people still talk to him in my family most of all how he scarred me in my childhood ..I'm 18 and I'm crying thinking why can't I remember everything he did to me why do I remember screaming running away from him fallowing me with a big kitchen knife... did he hate someone in my family did a demon take his place did I possess myself with saddness and hatred guiltiness on my own! He still comes around as people take my words lightly..I chose to not speak out could it have been different if I spoke up sooner! Would he have killed me at a young age for speaking the truth to the insencet sexual deed (he should get the electric chair or death needle) he did to me and his neice! I'm only thinking and I should continue forgetting my past.. but I felt like I needed to share.I'm scared of him hurting my father and mother and my other younger siblings.. that's why I got the courage as a young adult to yell at him rapist and he denied evrything and threatened to beat me down..sometimes I think f he shall ever strike like hat? again life and taking innocence

I feel what your saying I was molestated myself my the person I trust .my (brother ) at 5 or 6 years old for god knows how long it went on.. My mom said she knew but didnt know. She said the she came back from work one night and walk pass my brother room and saw me in the bed with him she said that she grab me out this bed and close the door and beat him but I remember a hole different in counter with him it make a big differences in your life my mom try to hide it and just act like it never happen .I was 11 when I set my room on fire and went back to sleep im suffering from PTSD now why me I never ask 4 this

i also was abused at home when a boy,by both dad and mom,my dad *********** me when i was 9 yrs old and my mother had sexual intercourse with me when i was 11-12 yrs old,to this day,im 65,it is still vivid in my mind!!

Personally, I think its because of the explicit details that occured then and your vivid desc<x>ription.<br />
If the account was toned down a bit (I know the occurances and experience cant be toned down) perhaps it wouldnt have the negative comments or the reaction its causing.......<br />
<br />
I was abused by my mother, I would never tell the general public, I had to go to a chlld abuse conselling organization.<br />
<br />
<br />
Just a thought.

oh wow this is crazy why dont u tell

Stephanie, I think I didn't tell because I don't really know what would happen. Not to mention, a lot of things in my house were unstable and dysfunctional at that time. No matter how many abuses were going on (physically and sexually), my mother didn't really know how to handle it.

You're amazing to get through this<br />
I know it's hard <br />
All my love girl <3

this type of acts has been happened to me too but not by my bro bt by my uncle. my mothers bro, but not to this limit.when that ****** tried to get on me i slaped him nd answered him that it wont be a secret anymore for him nd soon his gettin divorsed. then he just left doing all these non sense bt still when i remember those things i feel very ashemed. i can totally understnd you swty....keep ur move on type thought with you od luck

my sadnes sorry to you, dont worry god allways loves people like you, god bless my child.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. But you are definitely not alone. I was raped and molested to. And still overcoming my pain.

I am so sorry to hear that. I too was raped by my uncle and for some reason i yet do not understand i told the police he had not penetrated me ..... why why??? Why did i deny it?

Fear? You felt 'dirty', or that it was your fault somehow?
I'm so sorry he did that to you!
When I talked to the police officer...I wanted to deny it....
I wish I never reported it!!!!

I wanted to believe it never happened.
It wasn't your fault!

The worst part that hurts me the most is you trying to justify your brother's actions which,to be very frank,are absolutely inexcusable!Do you realize that?i hope you find the courage to confront him and get him imprisoned,also to face that he has been anything but a brother to you.God bless!

I can see how you would think I was justifying what he did to me but that's not merely the case. You're right, it is an inexcusable act and in another story, I've addressed my confrontation of him. To this day, I find acts like this disgusting and always have.

The worst part that hurts me the most is you trying to justify your brother's actions which,to be very frank,are absolutely inexcusable!Do you realize that?i hope you find the courage to confront him and get him imprisoned,also to face that he has been anything but a brother to you.God bless!

horrible uncaring brother

Your story touched my heart sister....keep your head up and trust Jesus

Your story touched my heart sister....keep your head up and trust Jesus

Can you add me or lowere your restrictions?

I think your brother is twisted and God know how many other children he molested already, I am A license behavior therapist and sure that child molesting can begin it behaviors at an eary age, You need to do some investigation into his personal lifestyle, he's got some problems.

i feel srry 4 ya

I was 9 when my Step sister who was 17 angry and bitter first touched me. She was baby sitting me and "helping" me wash up for bed and making me put clean uderwear on she soaped up her hand and started to wash my "front" and "back" I of course got an erection which made her concentrate on that saying it was OK and "doesn't it feel good?" It did but i knew we should not be doing it. She made me go into bed without my under wear and said she wanted to just keep rubbing me like i was a cow and her a farmer. I got on the bed on myhands and knees and she would rub my like she was milking a cow. She stopped doing that and took both her hands and spread my bum cheeks and started to kiss my bum. and after a few kisses she used her tongue to push up into my anus. i was kneeling like that for at least 15 minutes while she did this. I thought it felt good but when she finished she told me to never tell any one or I would get in trouble.But if i liked it she would do it for me again next time she baby sat.

But besides how it felt physically to you, how did you feel emotionally? Did it impact your adult life in any way? Have you seen or been around your step-sister since? Did you confront her? If so, what happened?

Bless your heart im so sorry :'(

I am the victim the one that was mere child seven years old at the time. To this very day my whole family judges me like I am the perpetrator. Like I am the problem the one with the sick mind the onto blame for everything. Even my dad the molestor puts the reason if did it to me because I am an adopted child and he did not do it to my sister that is the same age as me because she is his biological child

People think that you have to be strong to be a hero. (That's not true.)
Kids can be heroes too,because They bear the pain with determination and patience , That adults are not able to do so.
believe me ,you are a HERO

Thankyou for such line words. I always say that my children are my personal heroes the type that Mahria Carey sings about. There dreams and desires are much sweeter than anyone that I have ever met.

I was penetrated by my father once sometimes twice a day age seven for a year. It is something I can never forget and so sad to me that most no body even cares my own mom did nothing and still happily married to him over 60 years. It is proven he done it to me as an adult I opened an investigation.He was found guilty of penetration. The scars on me are still there because I am crying at this moment about it. I am 40 years old. Its like it stays with you for a lifetime it is a part me. It was forced on me with nothing I or anyone can do to change it. I desire that no other child on this earth ever has to live through something like that and feel so unloved by those that are the caregivers.

Cindy, I have talked to my brother about this because he came to me and apologized for what he'd done. In one of my recent stories, I wrote about it and I stated that I have since forgave him. He is married and it was his wife who was also abused by her biological father who got him to apologize to me. The reason he said he did what he did was because my half-sister who is older than the both of us, had sexually abused him and you know she was abused as well but then again all of us were and none of us ever broke the cycle (at least until recently) and she taught him what power his penis had. With that power, he did what he did. He isn't abusing his daughter, and this I do know for a fact. Her mom won't allow it, he won't allow himself to go there, and neither will I.

how will either you or your sister in law keep him from sexually abusing your neice, i guess you two have answer that not been established as of now.

i think that you need to talk to your brother you should tell him how his actions has affected you maybe bring closure to that part of your past. Is your brother married n does he have children. What if he is doing the same abuse to his kids

Have you tried<br />
Please check out this website. It's for survivors like you. It's amazing with supportive people and information to help, vent and understand.

pastafasol, do you have to work at being an ******* or was it a gift from god? ******* beast!

@FrankShore: So you focus on the victims. They should just accept. Reject their pain and distress simply because, according to you, these are but reflections of how biased society makes us all when it comes to sex. That way they wouldn't feel like - or even be - victims anymore.<br />
And, about the rapist, you say Dimples87's brother "was simply horny and had nother other [sic] outlet for his sexual needs" and "had no idea how much damage it would cause her".<br />
Are you effin insane ????<br />
One of the biggest steps for a rape victim towards recovery is precisely to become able to coolheadedly acknowledge that they have been raped, that it was a form of torture and, on the rapist's part, a hardly forgivable crime. So, according to you, the pain, the discomfort, the hatred towards oneself, the tears and the distress are all but side-effects of our being brainwashed by society. You're stating that society has such a control over our very bodies, feelings and emotions that they are not worth paying attention to, and that we might as well just ignore them ! This is downright idiotic ! Then what in the hell are nerves and a brain for ? I think you never helped anyone with such insanities but if you ever counseled anyone, then you're the one who brainwashed them into ignoring the signals of their body, brain and heart, regardless of how vital they are !!<br />
As for the criminals, know that empathy is absolutely essential to a healthy society and a healthy life. It goes far beyond just a species preservation mechanism. It is essential to social interaction and to pretty much every feeling one has towards someone. But mostly, empathy is NOT an option. Everyone has the ability to feel pain and all the unpleasant feelings mentioned above and, because of that, everyone else, in return, has the right to expect from others that they consider their feelings, all the time, when engaging in any activity, no matter whether the criminal is ignorant of the risks there might be. So say a boy wants his ***** into something warm and fluffy. If he rapes someone, then he is to be punished for not taking his victim's feelings into consideration before and during what is a crime. And no one is to blame the victim for making it just what it is: a gruesome act of lowness.<br />
Now get this: sadistic people can be cured, because they themselves know they do wrong because of impulses they are the first to want to get rid of. They use their empathy, despite everything. However, people who are ignorant of the suffering they cause, like Dimple87's brothers, can hardly be taught right. Hardly can one get them to even realize there is something wrong at some point. Sounds paradoxical, doesn't it? It's not. Now this: delusional people like yourself are ignorant people, as described above, but with extra insanity, which makes it nearly impossible to get them back on tracks.<br />
You are a living danger for everyone out there who might stumble upon any of your mad ramblings.

@FrankShore: I don't agree with you. Every woman, if she knows about sex and what sex is, she knows what's right and what's wrong regarding the topic. I mean, if you're aware of your body especially your vagina, you'll know and feel when someone has penetrated you or at least I'd know if someone penetrated me, because I know the difference between how I feel before and after. Usually, in relationships, men have to ask to have sex with the woman and in marriages we show our partners we're giving them permission by putting both he and I in the mood by playing music, lighting candles, having an intimate dinner and other things because we're comfortable with our partners - but yet and still, we know the difference between having sex and not having sex with someone.

I WOULD KILL EM BOTH i dont know what its like but almost everyone in my family had this happen to em i have personly put two unlcles in the hospital and 4 cuzins sick basterds if i ever meet yo brothers i would chop off they d*#+s and shove em in eachothers mouth and kick em in the throte my love and respct goes to u im sorry about what happend

@ frankshore: i agree that one can overcome what happened to them in the past but, trust me, rape is bad, negative and those that have been made to have sex without their consent have suffered a huge loss. anyone that attempts to trivialize it obviously hasn't been in itself isn't negative but RAPE is!

We live in prudish, Puritan, Victorian society that is sex negative, that believes sex is bad, that if someone has sex with you without your consent, you have suffered some great loss. Voodoo works the exact same way, because its practioners believe it works. The suffering sexual abuse and rape survivors feel is all in their head. The more they tell themselves they have been damaged, broken, hurt, and destroyed, the truer it is. Tell a female that someone raped her while she was unconscious, she will experience all the trauma of a rape victim, even if she was never raped. If a female was unconscious when she was raped, and never realizes it, she experiences no depression, and suffers no loss. I have counseled hundreds of survivors. They say I have helped them more than all the therapists, psychiatrists, and psychologists they have seen their entire lives. But you never having met one of them know better than they do that I have not helped them. You have been brainwashed by society and have your own personal convictions and prejudices. Just like Jehova's Witnesses and Seventh Day Aventists nobody can tell you anything. If you believe something is real, it is real to you whether or not it exists. Voodoo spells kill people, and cripple them. There is no magic at work. The "victims" of Voodoo spells simply believe so strongly in Voodoo they convince themselves they have been injured. If you keep telling yourself over and over again how much you have been damaged and hurt by rape, it will of course damage you. A small percentage of survivors are not bothered by whatever sexual experiences they had in their past. These survivors told themselves from the begining that what happened to them was no big deal. That is what they believed, so it didn't effect them. I have counseled females who were subjected to verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse, and no love. They told me the worst part was the love they never got. They said they could have put up with every form of abuse, if only they had been loved. Then I encounter females who were loved and cherished, whose fathers once looked at them inappropriately or touched them inappropriately. Their fathers begged their forgiveness, but these daughters claim to this day their fathers ruined their lives. Some females survivors remain mostly unaffected by severe abuse, while others claim the most mildest form of abuse destroyed them. Up until a hundred to two hundred years ago it was normal for females who reached puberty to get married and have children. It is unnatural for teenagers whose brains are flooded with sex hormones to have to wait to 18 to have sex. People say 18 year olds are not mature enough to have sex. I say most 40 year olds are not mature enough to have sex. There are mature teenagers and there are immature adults. If a teenager commits murder you consider them mature enough to be tried as adults and given the death penaltiy. It all depends what shoe the foot is on. Parents don't want to lose their children and never feel right about them having sex. There is nothing horrible about sex unless you have a negative view of sex. I have treated a small number of "survivors" who tell me they are glad they were introduced to sex at a young age. They told me that they enjoyed sex when they were children, and they continue to enjoy sex, that they wouldn't have had it any other way. I would agree these females are exceptions, that most females claim that early sex damaged them. But I have to wonder what part of that damage came from societal mores, their parent's beliefs, and the beliefs of their peers. Most children of Muslims are Muslim. Most children of Christians are Christian. This is not a coincidence. When children are exposed to sex at an early age and everyone is telling them that what happened to them was awful, they osmotically absorb that belief and integrate into their being. Survivors don't want to understand. They need to hate (even though they say they forgave the person who raped them), they need to be self-rightous, moralistic and judgmental. They say they forgive, but they don't forget. And forgiveness without forgetting is not true forgiveness. Survivors who don't take my advice suffer depression their entire lives. They are never able to have a normal relationship with any other person. They have anger managment issues. They are unable to trust others. They fear intamcy. They engage in self-mutilation, and cut themselves. They are unable to enjoy sex. They are filled with bitterness and hate. They bury their feelings where they fester. Their anger is like a lake of magma below a volcano. It constantly vents. They attack their pets, lovers, employers, and strangers for no reason. They are very stubborn. They always know what is right. Those survivors who listen to me are healed within two years. Their past no longer has any control over them. They no longer fear triggering flashbacks. If there was loving God he would not allow children to be raped. Most individuals who rape children are not sociopaths. The brother who raped his sister here was simply horny and had nother other outlet for his sexual needs. He had no idea how much damage it would cause her. Yes Voodoo damage is just as real as any other kind of damage. When someone loses their arm because of a Voodoo spell their arm is just as useless as it would be if someone cut it off. People believe whateve they tell themselves is true. So, if you want to go through life judging feeling like you are in a position to judge others, thinking you know what others can or cannot do, you will be the one who suffers. If you fear emotional intimacy and wish to die without ever being able to share yourself with anyone else because that is the safest course of action, go right ahead. But you should know you can get over whatever happened in your past and use your past to your advantage.

im terrible sorry for what heppen to you sister.i allwey think only a strega can do this but sims like im wrong. i wish u and your brother can talke about this and move on even thing the wont be d same.

Kakuma1, my mama was sexually abused and raped by her father along with all of my aunts. When she told her mama, her own mom didn't protect her from their father but instead went on to do binge drinking. My mama dealt with it by acting out and looking for love in all the wrong places, which is also how I dealt not only with the abuse but with the death of my father.<br />
Anyway, my father would have torn into my brothers and I don't know how I would've handled it because I was scared, too. My mama would have swept it under the rug and went inside herself like she'd always do with that topic or have another personality of hers take over. I know I should have but I didn't know how to handle it and I was scared.

i think u should have tell your parent

It is always interesting to see that others have been through it as well.

I belong to a Middle Eastern country and I had similar experience with my older brother but not in my childhood. I was divorced at age 23 and had a nervous breakdown so I went to stay with him trying to heal. I was always crying and upset and one night he was holding me trying to comfort me then he started to like make love to me. When I realized what was going on I tried to stop him but he overcame my rejection and had a complete intercourse with me. It happened again next day and I just accepted it like it was destiny. I stayed for 3 months with him and became his full partner and when I refused to participate he would go ahead anyway. I got married again and he asked me many times to sleep with him but I said no.

Your story is very well written. Unfortunately things happen in life and unfortunately they can have negative results and consequences. I am the youngest in a family of four. I am male. I do remember lots of exploring going on when I was young. At time some of the exploration occurred with children outside the family. I was never ever the instigator. In fact my sister appeared to be the one doing most of it. She always had "stories" that her older friends told her that she wanted to act out. She loved hanging around with older girls. Nothing significant ever occurred we were all very young at that time. It was mostly sexual curiosity. We knew that as boys and girls we were different. We sort of new that the organs used for peeing had some other purpose. Years after this exploration ended, I remembered becoming fascinated by breasts. But it remained a mystery to me until I was able to get my hands on a copy of playboy magazine. Something strange that occurred when I was in my teens leads me to believe that my brother and my sister continued with the sex play and whatever else into young adulthood. Of this I am not hundred per cent certain. Personally, none of this harmed me or my siblings very much. I believe a greater harm came from the conditions that we lived in, poverty and neglect. The neglect because our parents had to work hard to make ends meet. Although nothing is wrong with hard work, there are those who work much less and can afford much more. Life is often unfair and I can see how what you went thru at the time you went thru it can have very negative consequences. Clearly the effects on a male seems to be very different from the results on a female. For all of the obvious reasons, risk of pregnancy and childbirth been one of the main reasons. Without the proper social environment and conditioning from that environment, developing sexuality can be problematic for both males and females. Again I am not trying to be nonchalant about the consequences faced by females. As you mentioned in your story about your sister we are sometimes mentally incapable to handle some of the challenges life deals us. Guidance on some of these matters is seldom forthcoming. Finally, I am glad that you are in a good relationship right now. Best wishes.

That's the normal, reaction, Andrew, but I come from a family where sexual abuse, molestation, rape and all of that was the norm. I mean, it happened throughout generations in our family and to be honest I am unsure of where it started and to be honest, I don't know if I even I want to know. It crushes me and my spirit to know a lot of people have to deal with this BS. I've seen it and have tried to prevent it whenever I even saw the warning signs but so many people are in denial because they want to keep their man or keep the woman in their life. They just either see this as a flaw in the person or the child is the problem (and if you ask me, that's far from the truth) but no one wants to examine themselves or throw the man or woman to the side because they don't know how it's changing the child from the inside out.