Still Broken

I can remember clearly the night it started.I was ten and he'd been feeding me liquor and weed for about an hour before he kissed me. He was almost seventeen. He was my first male crush and that first kiss. My first kiss left me elated. But the second one was forceful. And it left a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. It wasn't long before he held medown and raped me, the point of his pocket knife against my throat. Soon after I learned that he and his friends had made a bet about who could take ny virginity. And shortly after I was attacked again, learning it wouldn't be a one time thing. For three and a half years they molested and raped me. Why? I don't know. I'm 21 now and I still have nightmares of that time. I still mourn for my lost innocence and youth. Does it ever get better? Will I ever heal?
lonleylexi lonleylexi
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 1, 2012

Honey in time everything gets better, trust me. You are a good person, don't let the pain of what that monster did to you take control of your life now. This is your life not his! You are strong, why else would you be telling your story if you weren't? Don't let that strength ever leave your soul. Look at what happen and try your best to move forward. If you want to get over pain you need to want to look forward. Don't fret over the past when I know for a fact there will always be a brighter tomorrow. Trust me this does get better

I know exactly what you mean. BUT I was 15, only a week into being 15 I was raped by the person who I never expected to do so. but at 10? gosh what monster. I'm so sorry. I hope the best for you in the future. keep that head up highhhh(:

ya u can u just go and slap that bastard..and say ur sister or mother will fucke soon by somebody ...publicly...