It's Not That Easy

After being raped your whole world changes. Things become darker, days feel like months minutes like hours. You become a prisoner of your own mind. Trapped within a jumble of horrific thoughts. One minute you're a firm believer things WILL be okay; What happened WILL make you stronger. Then you have a flashback, it only takes a second to be brought back into the night your spirit was taken. Living on edge is just a way of life now for you. Always thinking of the worst and when you try to put on a smile you're crying twice as hard inside. People think its easy to turn it into a positive situation, but living in constant fear of your memories is much harder than anyone can understand. Weeks, months, years have even passed and you still feel just as dirty as you did that night, just as alone and just as numb. Post traumatic stress disorder is what you're labeled with now. As if its suppose to justify your fears from that one moment. You can't eat, your motivation has been drained and all you want is to sleep. But every time you close your eyes you're haunted by your subconscious. Night terrors are a regular thing and only a couple hours of sleep is normal. Only time can heal your wounds, so You're sorry if they think it's just that easy to turn it into something positive. The time is not now, You're not ready to be strong yet, all you want is to feel safe, as if nothing ever happened to you.
Shelbymac09 Shelbymac09
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 10, 2012

This is so true! Every single thing you have said is the truth! I wish more people would understand that this is what we go through after having such a traumatic event occur..