Saudades Meu Corazon.

for a while, i had been sneaking around with the guitarist at my church. he was 7 years older than me so we didnt tell anyone.
he was amazing, as far as i could tell, there was so much to admire in him that i didnt care if i had to keep him a secret.
he was an amazing kisser, had a sexy brazillian accent, a huge musical talent, a beat up convertible, and a taste for making me happy. he called me his girlfriend and the whole deal, but by the summer we had broken it off because apparently the head pastor found out about it. We stopped talking for about a month or so.
Then close to the end of summer, we began talking again, on friendly terms. We arranged to meet, and when we did, talking led to kissing which led to guilt which led to not wanting to do more which led to it not mattering whether or not i had wanted to do more or not.
So i was raped by my ex, who i didnt know how to feel towards anymore. And what did i do afterwards? i drove him home. I wish i could have just left him in the street to walk home. I should have.. but i didnt know how to react.. so i didnt.

the next day i found out he was in a relationship with another girl at my church, he denied it to me but when i confronted her and told her everything about it, she blew a fuse and told me all about their 5 month long relationship which basically started at the same time as my relationship with him.
She didn't believe me when i told her what happened, and for that reason i didnt have the balls to tell anyone or report what happened that summer.



He also just married her about 3 weeks ago.
gruneaugen gruneaugen
18-21, F
7 Responses May 30, 2007

I hope not all of your faith was lost..<br />
In my opinion it seems to be worse when men of God has commited these crimes... I myself know first hand experience in that department. I pray you'll find peace & guidance.<br />
<br />
You're in my heart.<br />
With love,<br />
xxx

******* pig. I hope he burns in the darkest deepest part of hell, and when u go to heaven, u can drink a glass of ice cold water right in front of him. I love you. an i hope you make it through this. j3nnif3roz3@gmail.com

i hope you are able to live your life and put this tragedy behind you, i have met many people who have been sexually abused , men women and children, i council where possible and try to help them see they have no guilt to carry. this belongs only to the abuser, i hope you can see that you are still alive , with many years to look forward to. may you find peace in your heart and joy in your soul so that all your days will be blessed. i love my wife dearly, may you find a husband who will love you , honour you and respect you

i hate women that lie about things like that .. they r the reason women think u'll lie about it to get her to stop seeing him .. either that or their stupidly in love .. im sorry about what he did ..

Either women are blinded by love or they are just choosing to ignore the possibility that he may not be perfect at all.. He sounds like a cool guy - guitar and all - but he is just not the right man for anyone.

I agree with rcrisp, i hate it when women don't believe other women. You were giving her the heads up which was really GREAT of you to do, sadly since she STUPIDLY chose not to believe you she will find out the hard way. Rape is one of the most confusing things in the world to me, i was raped as well, so i totally understand what other's may think is ridiculous behavior with you driving him home, You were in SHOCK, and when we are in shock really we can do almost anything that doesn't make sense to other people. You did the best you could do and you should be very proud of yourself!! i know i am!!

I agree with rcrisp, i hate it when women don't believe other women. You were giving her the heads up which was really GREAT of you to do, sadly since she STUPIDLY chose not to believe you she will find out the hard way. Rape is one of the most confusing things in the world to me, i was raped as well, so i totally understand what other's may think is ridiculous behavior with you driving him home, You were in SHOCK, and when we are in shock really we can do almost anything that doesn't make sense to other people. You did the best you could do and you should be very proud of yourself!! i know i am!!