It Wasn't My Fault

   I was naïve. I had just turned 18 and was just starting to enjoy the party scene. It seemed like such an exciting idea to go see my favorite rap artists perform, even if the venue was in a questionable area of the city. I wore a short, skin-tight silver dress; back then, my body was bangin' and I wanted to show off.
   My friends and I arrived at the club early and started drinking immediately. Guys were all over me and the bartender was giving me drink after drink, all free. After the performance, we were going to my friend's birthday party at a motel and I invited some of the guys I met at the club. It was almost time to leave when my friend and I got into a stupid, drunk argument so I decided to ride with the four guys I had invited to the party. I was so drunk, I didn't notice we were going the wrong way.
   When the car stopped, I noticed through blurred vision that we were not at the right destination and I said "This is the wrong motel." The next thing I remember I was laying on the bed and there was this guy on top of me, holding me down, about to rape me. "No," I managed to say. I was so intoxicated, I could barely speak. I used the last bit of my energy to say "No" once more and then I passed out. Later, I woke briefly and found the guys were sitting around the hotel room; one fat nasty guy was naked and getting up off the bed. He had just gotten done with me. "Did all of you have sex with me?" I slurred. They answered affirmatively. I passed back out.
   Hours later, I woke up confused. Where was I? Then it all came back to me. I wearily got off the bed and found my little dress crumpled on the floor. I started crying as I pulled it over my head. I was used and abandoned and now I had to explain to my friends why I never showed up at the party. I went to the phone to call someone for a ride, but it had been disconnected; they turned the phones off after 11. I went to the office and begged to use the phone, explaining to the clerk that I had been raped. I called my friend and she came and picked me up. She seemed sympathetic. After she dropped me off, she called my mom to tell her what happened. My mother never said anything to me and later I found out that the girl that picked me up was gossiping about the incident and saying that she thought I was lying, that I willingly had sex with all those men. People have always insinuated that this was my fault. It has taken me 8 years to finally admit that even if I made some stupid choices, I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve the shame.
SWATgirl SWATgirl
26-30, F
5 Responses Jun 19, 2007

No matter if a woman walks around literally NAKED it is not her fault if she is raped!!! EVER! If you got a body to be proud of I say hell yeah show that off!! If it was in fashion for a man to wear clothes that showed his ****, it's a given that he would show it off! I am sorry no one believed your story hun! I moved 2 hours from my hometown and no one even knew it happened to me but I was still scared they wouldn't believe me! <br />
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I hope you are adjusting as much as is possible in this situation! You can message me whenever you need a ear to listen :)<br />
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Much love! <3

it was more stupid of your friends to let you go in the car drunk with 4 men you didn´t knew..

I will never understand why people never seem to believe a rape victim...if even your own MOTHER was swayed, then there is no God. Is it so damned hard to believe that there are people out there with bad intentions and no scruples, and that they'll get you when you least suspect it?<br />
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It's horrible that you had to go through this traumatizing encounter, but I think it's even more horrible that your friends and family had the nerve to blame it on you. Nobody asks for rape. Period.

It is never your fault.

GRRRRRRRRR I could kill them all. Just because the girl is drunk they take advantage of her, Guys like that belong in jail. It was stupid of you to get into a car being drunk and with guys you don't really know. But when you're drunk you don't know what you are doing so you should always make sure that your friend is taking care of you when you are drunk. Even tho she was mad at you after that argument you had but still she shouldn't have let you alone. It is also her fault.