My 2nd Story...

Hi All, This is a follow up to my 1st story on here... It was called "I Have Been Raped and Molested" I just wanted to say that I'm so much stronger from when I wrote that story... It has truly helped me... I want to be clear I still have small things that pop up in my head... or think things... but over all i'm feelin much better... I'm glad that my 1st story has been read by soo many people and I hope that something I said could help who ever read it out...

Being raped takes something from you... leaves your feelin like less of a person... and even tho its hard to do, you have to know that you are wonderfully and beautifully made... Horrible things will happen in your life... but you have to move on from it... Don't let that one thing make your messible and depressed... Let it help you become stronger... and know that you can and will make it in life... Nothing can stop your or hold you back in life... And if your a person that believes in God as I do... Know that he will not put more on you then you can bear... EVEN tho it seems like your bein crushed to the ground... You can make it through...

Once again if anyone ever wants to talk to me, just send me a message I'll be glad to chat with you... Take care and have a BLESSED day...

 

***---***---***---***---******---***---***---***---******---***---***---***---******---***---***---***---***

                                                   HERE     IS     MY     1ST   STORY  

***---***---***---***---******---***---***---***---******---***---***---***---******---***---***---***---***

Well writing this and sharing it umm.... is a little hard. But If I can say something that help anyone else then it worth it. And I just want to say that I didn't go through this on my own. The Lord was with me every step of the way. I know its hard for ppl to understand why a child would have to deal with something like this. But I remember reading in the bible " And the child will lead us" So now that I'm growing and understanding more, I can help more. The Lord doesn't put more on us then we can handle, and he knew that I would be able to handle this. He knew that I was strong enough, and I'm blessed to have gone through this. Because now I have my chance to help many other ppl. So now I'm 21 years old. Working on finally putting my life together. Its takin years I'm sure it be some time until I'm fully together. But with the Lords help its gettin much better.

At the age of 7 my grandfather molested me. He made me perform sexually acts to him && he did the same to me. Even though I was 7 I still think its my fault. But if you were to ask me if this happen to another 7 year old, I would tell you that it's not him/her fault. I guess thats just something that goes along with being molested/raped. When I was a little older 13 I was raped, by some guy. He was a known *********. I was really scared to tell anyone because of the issue with my grandfather. People didn't believe me, they said I was lying. Teachers, some family members, folks I didn't even know said that. I was yelled at, questioned over && over. && I knew that if I told anyone about this RAPE I would have to deal with the same thing. So I didn't, but yea people did find out, && yes the same thing happen to me. Until people started finding out who he was, then it was maybe she is not lying. I guess for other its easier to tell the person you love they are lying then to believe that something BAD happen to the person you love.

In my preteen years after dealing with being Molested && Raped. I just couldn't cope, didn't do well in school. I acted up, lied, mistreated people && anything else. I didn't want to live, I attempted suicide twice. && as you can see that didn't work out for me, because God has a plan for me && I intend on doing that. I went to consulting.... I cant tell you how many counselors from the age of 7 until I was 19. Doing that really didn't help me at all. I know that for some people it does, but not for me. So I had to do thing my way. Talking to friends, reading about it, Understanding what you go through, talking with other. && talking to God && myself. Really tryin to work things out. I was doing better even thought I was taking "Baby steps" any steps toward making a change is GREAT.

Then at the age of 19 I believe. I was raped by a "Friend of a Friend" The guy was drunk && he didnt seem to care that I was telling him no. things got outta hand so fast I didn't even know what was happen. Before when I was 13 I told him "NO" but he didn't listen && did what he did to me. When I was 7 my grandfather threaten to kill me && my grandma if I told anyone. So by this time with all the neg. affects I didn't say "NO" right away. That was just my way of dealing with it. "If I want it then its not RAPE, even though I know I don't" But I was able to say NO... I yelled it, I hit him, I tried to leave && he wouldn't stop. His words to me was "Just let me get my NUT off" I don't think I will ever forget them words.

Everyone always says if they was in that situation, they would scream, yell, fight, do anything to get out of the situation. But you just dont know unless your in it. I knew that if I did everything I could && couldn't get away that I would want to kill myself... so that I wouldn't have to play that situation over && over in my head. But I knew that I had to try I was sick of letting guy HURT me. && to this day not many people know about it. My brother cause he went with me to the hospital, && a couple others. My family doesn't even know. I just said if less people know then I can forget faster. But its not tru....

This is my way of dealing && working things out.... Its ok if you've been RAPED && your scared. Your not the only one, if you ask all your friends if they have been raped you'd be surprised how many people would say yes. The one thing that helps is being able to talk to someone who understands you. Someone who has been through it. Just talking can take you a long ways. So if you need someone to talk to I'm here. && there are plenty of numbers && websites for you or a friend. && DONT FORGET YOUR NUMBER 1... JESUS CHRIST....HE CAN HELP YOU THROUGH IT ALL.



Thanks && have a BLESSED day... Because GOD does LOVE us all.

 

MsJuicyBoo MsJuicyBoo
22-25, F
7 Responses Feb 23, 2009

Well with many things in life it takes time... for some people faster then others... but it took me years... as stated in my story... and I had to try many diff. things out... maybe it was all of them that helped me out also.. but anytime you or anyone else would like to talk I'm here... just send me a message :-D

MsJuicyBoo my goodness you have suffered through a lot. I was "raped" in April 2009 and I am still suffering. I like you blame myself for letting it happen to me. I told two of my friends about it. They doubted me. Maybe we can try and support each other? My family does'nt know about this. I tried talking to a therapist at college and I am not really getting anything out of it.

Type your comment here...im girlfriend was rape by her uncle when she was 3,4 and 5 almost everyday then she moved and got beaten up and rape even tho her uncle is sorry i will never forgive him and the guy who hit her and rape her is dead so i can't kill them myself i will not kill her uncle cause she made me promise but if she hasnt he will be dead i just think God shouldnt forgive those people

thanks for sharing your story and I have to admit that I emulate you for your strength. I was raped recently and I am struggling to deal with it and I can't begin to tell you how much pain I'm going thru but it's also encouraging to discover that some ppl are surviving and carrying on in life.

:D thanks... you know your startin my day off GREAT mr... LOL

Well I don't share your religious interests, but I must say your story was sparkling with the zest of someone who ended up not backing down (even if you did try to back down twice) and someone who did come around and realize that it can't rain all the time, and that's very admirable.

Why would I be upset about that... Its your belief... I can understand what your sayin... but we have are own free will... and do as we please... I feel thats what God gave us... so it is us doin all the harm here on Earth... but it will be different in Heaven... Thats what I look forward too...