I Can't Believe It Happened!

About 4 months ago I was raped by my ex boyfriend. We went out since December 2006 till July 2007 when I found out he was cheating on me. I never had sex with him because I wasn't ready to lose my virginity. After we broke up there were series of him calling me at pathetic times telling me how much he loved me and that I should take him back. He began to act really strange and at times I felt as if he was stalking me. I was 17 at the time and he was 28 so I was scared that if I told anyone they would critisize me for going out with someone that old. Anyway for a while, I just ignored him and shouted at him telling him to leave me alone. One day, he said he wanted to talk to me, on good terms so I agreed. Normally we would meet at his house because we didnt want people to get see us together so it wasn't weird when he drove me to his house. He has one room, so when he got there he started touching me up. I pushed him away but before I knew it he had already ripped my top off. What happened after that is but a blur all I ca remember was him on top of me pushing and thrusting into me. I was screaming and telling him to Stop but he didn't even listen. I tried to move but he had overpowered me and he continued raping me for about 5 minutes. I was crying so hard and my whole body was throbbing with pain! After that he just got off me and stood next to the bed looking at me with a big grin on his face. I was crying really loudly and the landlord came to ask if everything was ok. I said no and told him that he should call the police because I had been raped but he just refused saying he didn't want such things taking place in his house. I got off the bed, in a lot of pain and when i looked on the bedspread there was blood all over. I started shouting at him, telling him that I was going to kill myself but he said he hadn't done anything wrong. I picked up my clothes, put them on and ran outside crying. I asked someone to call the police and I reported evrything that happened. He is in jail right now, but he the case hasn't gone through and he hasn't been sentenced. He is busy telling lies about me about how I'm a ***** and I slept with so many men and yet he knows that I was a virgin! Sometimes I really feel like killing myself and I feel so low. A lot of people keep reminding me that it has happened to other people and they have survived and I know that. It's just so hard for me right now and I know I will feel a bit better now that I've told people who have been through the same situation.

Please feel free to comment and give me advice, I really desperately need it!

misscry misscry
18-21, F
7 Responses Mar 4, 2009

you were really strong because got someone to call the police. He was just a guy who thinks that everything revolves around him and he can't get in trouble because of it but you proved to him that he is wrong. If you ever fell those memories coming back contact me and i will get your mind of it.

You did right by turning him in. That land lord needs to be prosicuted as well it's called aiding im not sure on the spelling of the other word. Our legal system has been converted and perverted it's not necessarily about justice, it's become a buisness who's 1st interest is the dollar.their sending drug users to prison and putting sex offenders on probation sex offenders are generally better money makers and they are more likely to pay fines and fee's where as drug offenders are probably going to spend their money somewhere else. Possessing drugs in reality is not a crime in itself, in order for there to be a crime there needs to be a victim so the states make themselves victims. Now sexual predators are the worst criminals out there their as bad as killers in my humble opinion. They also take lives and destroy families. When they violate another human in such a personal way it takes a lot of the victims life from them, they lose any security they have, they lose the ability to socialize freely they have bad dreams they lose sexuality and they lose friends. Of course everybody suffers differently and some may say their over it. The predators need something their not getting because of the high repeater numbers. Bars are not the answer for drug offenders, education would serve those individuals much better. I hope the course conduct themselves properly with your case. Good luck to you and don't let that twisted piece of $hit own you.

He didn't get convicted and the police officer told me that only 2% of rape offences by someone you know go to jail.It makes me sick knowing he's out there and probably violating other people.

That's why god invented the neutering knife for pieces of $hit like him, i just don't understand how justice can be so incompetent! Innocent people are convicted every day and *** bags walk the street. I think it's time we overhaul the rule book. I am so sorry you went through everything you did and then get raped again by an inadequate judicial system. Ya and now he knows he can get away with destroying women's lifes what's to stop him now. That's the message these chicken $hit judges are sending out. This nation is in dire need of a political douche!

Thanks for the sympathy. I wish more people were like you, this world would be a better place.

I just read your comment... you are also strong... your still here... and even though you havent found your outlet in life... you will... You can and will make it in life... you have to believe that deep down in your heart...

As a women who has been raped... I want you to do what you need to get over it... and move on with your life... you can never let him win... doing harm to yourself wont bother him... for cryin out loud... the low life raped you... I know when it happen to me over and over again I wanted and tried to kill myself.. but what good would that have done... you can get through this... and you never know what your story could do for someone else...<br />
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I know its a waste of time to tell you its not your fault, because all rape victims feel that way... Your a strong women, weather you see that or not... but you've got to fill your empty space with something good and postive... God is a great start... If you dont believe find a hobby that you love... something that you can think of when your feelin down in out... find anything you can that will make your life better and you tons stronger... send me a message anytime ya like...

thank you.

please dont feel sad , you are not to blame its not your fault its his. no man has a right to do that and most of us would never do so . ifeel for you and really wish you well kosh.

i am so sorry that this terrible horror happened to you. he should be castrated or beter yet maybe someone will violate him i hope you will seek counseling and get the help and support you need. i am your friend and i do understand the trauma you are having to deal with. if you need to talk i am here for you always!!