I Don't Trust a Soul Anymore

First of all I just want to apoligize for my bad english. I'm from Sweden. This is really hard for me, I've never told a soul before, and that's why I'm not sharing this story on a swedish page, I'm afraid some of my friends would find out.

When I was 14 I was drinking a lot, almost every weekend, my homesituation wasn't the best and I was cutting myself every day. One Saturday I got so drunk that i passed out. I don't remeber much, but the police said they found me on the street all by myself, my friends had left me. I don't remeber if anything happen to me that night, but almost every day since then, I feel hands on my body and I can feel the disgusting smell of alcohol. And sometimes when I'm having sex with my boyfriend I feel so disgusting and filthy.

An other night a "friend" of mine pushed me into an empty room and made me suck his ****. I can't even type the word, I was trusting him, told him about my father, that he was hitting me. And he made me do that! I just can't understand it! He was pulling my hair while I was doing it, and then he made me take it in my mouth. I lost a lot of hair that night.

I feel terrible now, now it really feels like it have happen. Before I could deny it, but when I have typed it down like this I can see the truth.  The razors feels so tempting right now. :(

KilledByFishes KilledByFishes
1 Response Mar 28, 2009

I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope time can help you heal ...