When I was 14, I had a stranger steal my virginity from me. It all began with me hanging out with a group of older girls from high school. I was a freshman and they were all seniors. They treated me like I was on their level and enjoyed having me around. One night, we all went camping at a local state park. We all began drinking and partying. Guys began to arrive that I didnt know, older men. I had been drinking most of the evening and this guy kept acting like he just wanted to be my friend and talk. I thought he was a nice guy. I finally realized that I had had enough to drink and wanted to go and lay down in one of the tents. I sort of passed out and then woke up with this guy kissing me and running his hands all up under my clothes. I looked at him and asked him to stop. He had this mean look on his face and told me that I know that I want this. I told him no and tried to push him off of me. He held me down and began raping me. Touching me and making me feel so awful. I was crying and continued to ask him to stop. He continued and went all the way to get himself off. Whether he knew it or not.....he took my virginity. I never got to save that for the right person. A personal part of me was taken forever. Something I can never get back. I hate him for all that he is and who he is. I never knew who he was.....I did find out he was charges could have been placed. But, I was scared and actually didnt talk about it until I was 27. I am now 33. I kept all of it buried inside of me. It still haunts me to this day. Im going to deal with it all head on once again to learn to deal. It still effects me, even though I have it buried so deeply in my mind.
picgirl picgirl
31-35, F
23 Responses Nov 7, 2007

I wish that beasts like this can permanently be removed from society and placed in a place, where they get raped 3 times a day, for ever!!! It must be done be someone or something which the totally hate!!!!

Seek God

Even if its baried it still impacts your life. I didn't even recall something that happened to me when I was 8 and it influenced how I acted around this person. It's funny how even unconsciously your body tries to protect itself.

I am sorry.

keep being strong! I know how you feel.

@Picgal.. sorry for the pain.. You will be amazed at how many women get raped at these camping trips and parties.. When ever alcohol is involved, saddest men take advantage..and most od these cases are never reported.. <br />
I guess talking abt it here will help, and hopefully u can have the courage of sharing with ur husband one day, depending on what kind of man he is.. Trust me that will lift a lot of weight off ur shoulders.<br />
@bluebood007, WHATS YOUR POINT?

You are beautiful. No matter what anyone does, you are pure and beautiful and worthy of happiness and love. You deserve all of the good things in the world. I wish that all for you and I hope you believe this. You deserve it. xo

Wow. Im 14 right now, and dont think i could ever be as strong as you. You went through that, yet you seem as if it hasnt affected you mentally. You are truly an inspiring person. Im going to take your story into consideration the next time im out :)

I'm also 33 and was raped when I was a teenager (a virgin as well). Your story touched me, I've tried not to think about that time in my life very often, it was a very dark time. I won't be arrogant enough to say, "I understand," but I will say that your story sounds remarkably similar to mine in many ways, and it saddens me so much to hear how common this sort of behavior is - and how common it is for the perpetrator to get away with it by using fear tactics on naive children! Yes, It still angers me a great deal, but I have (hopefully) worked through a lot of my personal experience - but it takes so much work and time and grieving and all those things that nobody wants to have to deal with!<br />
I really hope that you find solace, peace, passion, security, and joy on your journey...<br />
Love and light,<br />

Im so sorry to hear this... I waited years to say anything also and now i'm trying to confront it... one thing I have learned from all this, we are not victims we are surivors, there are some messed up people in this world and what they do is wrong but as hard as it is and as much as it still hurts, maybe one day you can feel better and feel stronger because you survived

just try to forget about it.... so that ul enjoy the lovemaking with ur spouse ma'am.... :)

I am 13 and i was raped 8 months ago by a total stranger who was about 17. you went through this, umm any advice, or something, i just want to forget it. how did your husband take the news? if i get married one day i don't want him to hate me.

as far as im concerned there is a difference between physical virginity and 'spiritual' virginity. <br />
<br />
and as far as im concerned, a sick minded rapist can, indeed, take your physical virginity, i.e. tear your hymen. but the one thing he cannot take is your spiritual virginity... your spiritual virginity is something that can only be 'given' to somebody you love, its something you can only lose when you make love to someone.<br />
<br />
you were still 'pure', as far as im concerned.

Sorry that what happened to you, happened. You are a survivor. Be proud and I know that sounds weird, but don't let this damage you in the end. Take care.

God is with you. He can take away all the pain. Bless you.

I read ur story I wondered did he disflower u....I m married man 36 yers old...I made love only my wife she is only one and I m happy and She is also very ncie woman she loves me thing which I appriciate that I belong to muslim family and I m proud of this that we make sex with only our wife and we can not ever think to make sex with any other girl or woman we r same as other human being but we beleive on God and we beleive on Judgment day or doom's day thatwhy we try to keep away ourself from adultry..... we do marry and we love our wife lot and we birth kids and give them all our love we never think to divorce and sepration we scrifice for kids<br />
we love togather we care togater ....

RHR hun you are the best!!! ((((HUGS))))


Thanks so much Lostangel hun!!! I care for you and I am here for you too!!! ALWAYS!!!!

Awwwwwwwww thanks so much Warmth.....that means the world to me. I want to get over this....but it keeps coming back to haunt me!

I hope that happens. But, I dont foresee it soon! Thanks for the comment!

Thanks sweetie. I love my husband with all my heart. I guess you could say that I am pure for him. It was hard for me to write this....but this is part of everything that I am dealing with!

good; this was painful to read...I am so sorry you went through this, Pic. But the physical isn't that important, really...when you have a real, true, deep love...that doesn't matter...they will always think of you as pure. It's true.<br />