More Than Once.

more than once, i have been raped, and more than once, i have gone to bed at night, only to wake up the next morning, to feel the effects of the rape. for so long, i couldn't even say the word rape, and even now, the word is like a slap in the face, but its true, i was rape, and i blame myself. i blame myself, because i shouldn't have been there, and i should have fought back, but the effects of the drugs, i just didn't know what was happening. i thought nothing bad would happen. it was the very 1st party that i have ever been to, and till this day, i have not gone back to another party, i don't trust myself. i don't drink with anyone, but myself. i just can't trust anyone, people in this world, are just out to hurt you, and they will. the man who invaded me did, and broke me, and its not even his fault, he is just another scum god let live, i'm the one to blame, im the stupid one. i should die for what i allowed to happen, and ever more, die for allowing it to effect me as bad as it does.

1StupidFuckingGirl 1StupidFuckingGirl
18-21
3 Responses Mar 8, 2010

I think I understand.<br />
After all, you did go there on your own. To have fun, right?<br />
And yet, didn't want that to happen, at least not in that way.<br />
Only one thing to do now...

Hon...its never your fault and its always his.<br />
We dont choose to have this happen to us. Alot of rapiest pre meditate befor doing so.<br />
Stay strong and keep fighting, you desrve to be happy. You did NOT deserve to get raped.<br />
The road to selhealing is long and messy but worth it in the end. Im on my way right now and the further you go the better you feel.

Someone took away a part of you, involuntarily. It as not your fault. Seek help from a competent professional as to regain what was stolen from you. <br />
You were a victim. Don't allow these terrible crimes against you define the rest of your life. <br />
You are special and deserve the best life has to offer. <br />
Seek guidance and regain your sense of self, self worth and the ability to trust again so you may feel the spectrum of a fulfilling life that you so deserve. <br />
May you have safe travel inner peace. <br />
Paco35:)