Who Am I ?

Well my story is a bit different from a lot of people. I am a 21 year old guy, who over the last few years have been pretneding to be someone that I am not, Last 3 years I have always wanted people to like me so I used to do anything and everything to make people like me and it has affected a lot of thigns about myself and my relationship.

In my relationship I have lied so many times to secure a good name that it has really hurt the ones I love. It has reached a stage where I do not know who the real me is. I cannot stand it becasue over the last 2 months I got into a relationship with a girl whom i love with all my heart and I have hurt her because she found out that the one she fell in love with was a complete liar and a fake.

I do not know how I can resolve this, she never wants to get back to me ever and all I can do is sit here and cry it out, I wish I knew who I was and want to find ways to find out who I am inside because I know I can be a good person but I do not know how to bring that out.

I want to stop lying, but im always concerned about peoples thoughts if I tell them the truth, I used to give advice to people about whats right nad whats wrong but never followed it myself. I feel I am a very immature person when it comes to relationships and until i know who I am I cannot be happy with myself, I have reacheda stage where I am completely alone and want to change but people have told me that i can never change and I am what I am and the pretense has taken over me.

 

what should I do :(

Confused

confusedavi confusedavi
18-21
2 Responses Aug 1, 2008

Most important you must love yourself first. It's okay to put yourself first. The more you love yourself, the more love you can give. Which is kind of hat Feflower said but in different words. Be happy with who you are now because you are very special.

Get a good therapist, and learn to love u fist bcse if you can't then how can u love someone else? (i can relate bcse my ex was like you) and i was gutted too.<br />
Wishing u all the best Feflower