Just Hit Me This Weekend...

It was something that I always knew had happened but I guess I chose to forget and I never really understood what happened. I don't even remember how old I was... I think I must have been 4-6 y/o. I was abused by my cousins one night. They were bother/sister and were late teens early 20s. They took me back into one of the bedrooms and I remember it being dark but a nightlight must have been on because I could barely see. I remember her performing oral sex and they both trying to get me to. I remember wanting so badly to walk out but I was scared and I couldn't. The memory has always been there and I've always told myself it didn't happen. But it did and all weekend I've been on forums like this reading all the horrible stories. I've cried so much. I don't even know any of you but I feel so much better reading the stories and posting mine. I've realized why I am the way I am. I always had a hidden hatred or dislike for women. I'm straight and I think I hate women rather then men for that reason. I've always been numb with girlfriends and sex is just sex. I got married in 2009 and my wife and I have a 15 month old and were expecting another girl this summer. My wife's father is a gay man and I think the reason I fell in love with her was because I knew one day I could tell her... The first person to tell... And she would understand because of the tough things she went through with having a gay father. I'm out of town on business and I go home tomorrow and the big day is tomorrow.... I'm finally ready to talk.

Thank you everyone
Anewbeginningstartsnow Anewbeginningstartsnow
May 7, 2012