The Wain

they called me the wain it started when i was raped at two years old put in an old tin dustbin with hot ashes and left to die fortunetly the kids on the street wereplaying wee hooses and needed the bin lid for something lifted the lid and discovered the wain inside the bin for you who dont know what a wain is a wain is a child i was two i cant remember but all my life when i tried to tell any one i was getting sexually assaultted they would either call me a liar or say it happened when i was two and how can i remember that but no it went on an on and on for years with family members ad a pedafile ring that lived in the area where i lived they would pay me like a child prostitute in sweets and money they would tempt me and i bit big time then when i became around eight or nine and started to retaliate they would threaten me or start to mistreat me me bully me or make everyone else hate me i was the lonless child on the planet i had an imaginary friend who seen me through and i used to pray to godit would all stop when i became a teenager i went down the road of drugs and alcaholism not hard drugs but hard alcaholism and suicide was very attractive to me but it didnt work i still have the scars to prove it i hated myself i sang sang sang and acted and entertained my way through life i still do i love stage that is my safety home i married had two kids kept them as safe as i could away from all beasts i knew off and that was a lot never told on any of themin my life as i would hurt to many people as they were all family and dear friends dads brothers teachers people in the proffessional world to the very postman i just cant i will take it to my grave i cant save the worl as long as every child that comes in contact with me is safe from these beasts i will be happy im a surviver now but still have to share as t still hurts the wee child comes out now and again and crys for her mum and no one is there or she gets a slap and called a liar these scars dont heal but sharing about it does thanks for listning from the wainxxx
donn5555 donn5555
46-50
3 Responses May 9, 2012

I hope that peace and happiness are yours, donn.

I am a senior female who was abused as a child. It breaks my heart to read some of the stories listed here. I cannot fathom how anyone can ever get over these experiences. My story is not nearly as intense as yours but enough to have left immense hurt and disgust as well as great mistrust in men in general. I was abused through touch and groping by my dad's cousin. The act was carried out in the presence of other people (always) who never clued in on what was going on. The perpetrator would call me and have me sit on his lap where he proceeded to carry on his filthy behaviour. I knew what he was doing was wrong yet I was afraid to let him know I was aware of it. I never told anyone about this and through the years I forgot about it . At a very difficult time in my life, I was prescribed medication to treat me for depression and low and behold the nightmare started. The memories of the abuse surfaced and the fury and anger which I experienced towards this person had no boundaries. I especially was furious at myself for having witnessed evidence of abuse in his own children in my young adult life and having not recognized them at the time. When I approached my mother about it later in life, she informed me that she came from a family where many males were part of the family but she was never approached in such a manner because she was smart enough to know better - well, the victim being in the wrong again. Eventually, she saw her mistake but I cannot forgive her for her first reaction. My family had no contact with his family for years. The last time I saw him, he was hooked up to an oxygen tank. I wanted to pull the hose from tank and leave him there to gasp for his last breath. I know now that he did the same to other distant members of our family. He is now dead and I will always hate him. I don't like the hate I feel and yet I always want to hate him a little more each time I remember. Heal, heal, heal........! even if it's through hate.

antagonista, the tears are washing toxins from my brain; thank you, sweetheart—I love you.

I'm realli sorri donn idk why there's ppl like datt in this world freaking hate them I suggest u tell someone about dis it will make u feel Bette i was molested as a child also by an uncle i have only told my cuzins I now have a daughter nd im so scared for her I can't even trust noone ..hope u feel better nd congratulations on the kids