I So Want To Feel Normal

I was sexually abused by my uncle the last time i remember i was about 6 years old. A lot of it i have blocked out and feel i disassociate my feelings as an adult too. He used to make me take baths and come in and pull down his pants and **********. He tried to get me to stick things in my vagina he was always hugging me and telling me he loves me. He told me if i told my mother she would hate me. My last memory was him being on top of me and penetrating me i remember it hurt when i tried to urinate for weeks afterwards when i tried to tell my mother she said it was because i didn't wipe well after using the bathroom.

This man also abused his own daughters and they were taken from him. He went to prison for about 10 years.

He had put me in prison my whole life. Most of the time i feel dead inside. I have been unable to have any meaningful relationships in my life. i fear i will die alone and broken. i need help and do not know where to begin.
blueangel77 blueangel77
51-55, F
Jan 6, 2013