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I Was Sexually Abused By My Dad

The Lone Cry

By: deleted
Written on September 22nd, 2012
Pain for years,
inspired by another on EP,
I too let the words flow tonight.
My heart is bruised, my mind, so afraid,
I have never known a life w/o fear,
without guilt, shame, self-consciousness.
I miss my brother tonight, gone again
out of my life, lost to his mental illness,
both of us abused by the father,
only one of us could deal,
i still remember the flight of the birds,
the lone cry of the white wolf,
and the beauty in his eyes as we walked on the beach
and he said, "I'm giving you energy".
they could not take our bond away.
there is so little love in the world,
there is so much pain and fear,
and i have known too much for one soul to bear.
god, where are you as i try so hard to be ok
and i am more teenager than grown woman
because i never got to be a child at all?
i ask you to heal my heart and mind
and the hearts and minds
of all like me,
ravaged as we tried to sleep
by the evil men who took what they liked,
then paid nothing for their crime.
i cry still,
the lone cry of a wolf
that no one has ever really heard
By: deleted
Age: 26-30
300 people have read this story

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2 responses
  • mocking
    mocking

    You have a gift. I have read a few of your stories and feel so sad for your loneliness. I feel it too. If you ever need to talk you can always in-box me. You are not alone. Your gift is that you my friend, are a writer. Keep writing you are very good!

    Sep 24, 2012
    1 like
    • mocking
      mocking

      Good morning my friend. I am sorry that you are in a bad, sad place. I am as well. I am so glad I met you and look forward to a great friendship. I am so glad that you are inspired to write. As I said there is something special about your writing, It is rare to find writers that are as raw and real as you. You are an artist. I too was abused as a child not by my father but my mother. My father was an kind and quiet man and he was also verbally abused by my mother, As much as he wanted to he did not have the strength to help me. My siblings are much older that me (oldest is 19 years older) and they were already married or in school when i was growing up so they were not there to help me either, All knew what was going on but nobody stepped in, I was called stupid, and a unwanted child daily, I was told that I ruined her life, She had me in her late 40's and told me all the time she never wanted me, She would also get into rages and throw me against walls. Still nobody stepped in. Now that I am older I understand that she must have had some sort of mental illness. She passed away about 10 years ago and the moment of her death she opened her eyes after being in a coma like state for weeks and whispered "I am sorry" to me. I am a mother of two boys and have learned how not to be. I vowed to be a good mother and in-courage my kids, They are now 19 and 23 and really good people so I hope that I had something to do with that, I am determined to write this story today of my childhood. As I said I have been feeling really sad lately as well and have found great comfort in meditation and breathing the light. I have many great You-tube videos that help me with my meditations. Let me know if you would like me to forward you some, For now. Feel free to e-mail me any time and I will talk to you until you feel better. You are special as well....People come into our lives for a reason! Look forward to a long friendship! Peace to you and have a nice day!

      Sep 25, 2012
      1 like