It's Been Almost Two Months

I have been trying to figure this out now since it happened, and I still can't make sense of it.

I can't tell anyone. I can't distance myself from him. He terrifies me, and there is nothing I can do but try to move past
it.

Often now if he is around me, he will make comments like "everyone knows what I would do to people who double cross me" while he touches his gun and makes subtle eye contact with me.

No one understands that even if I told anyone, they wouldn't believe me. I have no proof, and he is a father, husband and an outstanding member of our church. They think that by keeping the secret I'm doing some grave injustice to everyone.
Etceteras Etceteras
18-21, F
3 Responses Jan 7, 2013

I know exactly how you feel in the sense that you can't say anything out of fear, shame, and the fact that it's your word against theirs. My first boyfriend turned abusive and controlling on me but no one believed me because he was friends with a lot of people and I was a 14 year old no body, and the 2 separate attackers from my 2 separate sexual assaults were never held to and punishment because I was 9 and one attacker was my age and the other was 10 or 11 (again I was 9 for this assault too) but my word against theirs and since we had no evidence I had to live with the pain buried within me and and try to function with these people around me for years. If you ever need to vent I'm here

tell the police you may not think there's evidence but a detective and a polygraph test could bring some up quick

No one deserves to live in fear