My Stories

When I was 13 I was raped by my cousin Joshua. When I was younger, around 7 or 8 we were having a Christmas party. All of us grand kids used to fight over this one chair. Me and josh both ran for it but he was older so he got it first. I told him "fine if ur not going to move then I'll just sit on u!" and so I did. The next thing I knew he was rubbing my leg. I didn't know what to do. He moved his hand up and up and started to rub harder. I didn't know what to do I didn't wanna yell and have everybody know and make it awkward, so I just laid my head on his arm and closed my eyes. About 5 years later when I was 13 I was staying the night at my grandparents. Josh was living there because he had recently gotten out of jail. In his room he had an x-box and tv so I wanted to play. He said I could. I was sitting with my legs pretzel style playing x-box when all of a sudden he came up from behind me and started rubbing my leg. I froze. Next he started kissing my thigh. He pushed me back to lay me down and I slowly did. He took off my shorts and proceeded in performing oral on me. Then he had sex with me. I went along with it because part of me was afraid of what he would do if I didn't. And the other part didnt want my grandparents in the next room to find out. And have to deal with the shame. When he had finished and i was sitting on the bed he looked at me and said this is for practice so ur good when u have sex. Then he asked who my first was. I just sat there. He gave me a remorseful look and said "i didnt want it to be like that amber, im sorry. I didnt know" My mom went away on vacation and I was to stay at my grandparents again. Again the rape started and again I remained silent. The memorize all kind of faded into one. Except this one night. It was a school night while my mom was on vacation. I was sleeping in my bed expecting to wake up at 5 for school. I woke up to a hand sliding under the blanket on my leg. I knew what was going to happen... And it did. And when it was over I cried for the first time. I cried for what felt like forever. Another time my family was having a week long get together for my uncle bill visiting from Texas. Some of the family decided to camp in the lawn in tents. Me and my cousin Thomas and my friend Suzie decided to share a tent. By the end of that day josh was drunk. Me him and Suzie decided to go for a walk in the field and talk. When we got back to the tent josh laid down between us, he said he was going to sleep there and I told him no! Him and Suzie and I were all talking. Then josh started whispering to her. I could hear her saying quietly no and stop over and over again. I knew what was happening. I did the only thing I could think of without embarrassing us all. I unzipped his pants and started to give him a hand job. It worked he stopped touching Suzie. When I finally got josh to go inside me and Suzie just held each other and cried. I feel so nasty for doing that. But I had to. I couldn't let that happen to her. She was innocent. I envied that. All together josh raped me 8-9 times. I lost my virginity to my own cousin. But he wasn't the only one. Josh raped me at the beginning of August 2010. My older sister Heather was killed in a car accident on the 23rd of that month. I was raped by one of her softball team mates about a week after her death...
Imafrootloop16 Imafrootloop16
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 10, 2012

That must've been horrible for you. I was raped by my English teacher when I was 13, I know; it makes you feel so dirty and violated.... You just want it to stop.... Don't worry, since you're older now, you might be able to send a report and have a court date. It won't be shameful. You protected Suzie, and he might go to prison for his unspeakable and disgusting crime.

OH MY GOD! How did your English teacher rape you?!?!?!?!?

you didnt derserve any of this. i just cant understand why cousins do this, mine did a few months ago and its hard when its family because you never turlly get away from it