Im Getting So Scared ...

Im getting so scared of whats going to happen to me. My abuser has been locked up but only got 8 years so he could be out in a year and a half!
Im scared about what will happen when he does get out, what will happen if i see him or if he comes back to get me.

But its not only that im scared about. im scared of becoming even more depressed. I get bullied nearly every day in sixth form, but the people there call it "banter" and i just have to smile through it like its funny. but its not, its getting me really depressed and i have no confidence. I try to seem as though I do but i dont. i feel ugly and overweight, but i cant seem to stop overeating, even though i do eat a lot of home-cooked healthy meals.

im scared for my exams. im in my last year of A-Levels and they're fast approaching. Last time, in exam period, I barely slept and got completely stressed out. Im scared in case I fail, of having an even worse sleeping pattern and just of the whole process.

shytype30 shytype30
22-25, F
2 Responses Dec 12, 2012

Get a body guard, do you have any male cousins uncles or brothers? I'm sure they'd kick whoever's *** is haunting you. I know several of my family members would help me out in this case, I hope you have a similar situation there. As far as the exam stress goes, I know how you feel there. Best thing to do is calm down, and just assure yourself you know the material. Get sleep too, because I know from experience that that doesn't help at all when you pull all nighters. I had a traumatic experience where I took the maximum recommended dosage of vyvanse and stayed up all night for two back to back college science and math exams, which are very tough, and I had a mental breakdown which led to mania and depression around the time you posted this actually, and I'm just now finally off the psych meds doctors put me on. There were a lot of other factors to that, but that definitely put me over the edge. Also as the abusers in school goes, just try to avoid them or start quipping back. Also no matter how ugly or overweight you feel, you can't let that affect your self worth. Both of those are just human constructs that society created to make people feel bad about themselves. So, basically, the best advice I have for you is to adopt a devil may care attitude with most things that aren't your goals, aka family, getting good marks, etc., and essentially become a bad *** ************. Thats what I've done, its all about your attitude. It really makes all the difference. I was involved with a group of people that I depended on for social contact in college, but now I completely disassociated with them and I haven't regretted it one bit, because now I'm that much more focused in my life. They weren't supporting me, they were holding me down, just like these clowns you are associating with in school seem to be. Cut them out, its your only life, your only time, and be greedy and protective of the quality of your life. Its all about simplifying what your life is about, complexity isn't good for your personal happiness. Keep it to close friends, family, those you can trust, teachers are great to get to know, as they really want to help you and are genuinely interested in your well-being. And never stop fighting for your goals and those you love. Peace be with you

You are still young and you can start a new life dear...You've to have faith in yourself...If you're scared that your abuser can get you when he walks free then I suggest you to join any self-defense training..It'll boost your both mental and physical strength...You really need it. If you get strong enough to fight for yourself then you'll build confidence naturally.