He Was My Best Friend....

I havent fully thought of this experience since it happened. When I was 11, I met this guy named Dylan. We become best friends and later on we got drunk one night and things went a little too far. We didn't have intercourse, but we did other things. After that night, he became obsessed. I moved away so we didn't talk much, and I got a boyfriend. Dylan followed me around without me knowing for awhile and would watch me and my boyfriend together. One night he found me alone and attempted to rape me. He had a knife and made me get into his van. (He was a couple years older.) I was only 13, and I was still a virgin. I didn't know what to do when he tried taking off my pants. He shoved his tongue down my throat and tried to finger me. I bit his tongue as hard as I could and punched him in the balls and I got away. I didn't see him after that, just his car every once in awhile but I always ran away when I saw it. I began having nightmares about it and I still to this day have nightmares sometimes. I try and forget but everything reminds me of him. I'm still with the same guy and have been for ever a year, his is the love of my life. I love him a lot, and I feel safe when I'm with him. But even he can't keep the nightmares away......I honestly don't know what to do. I have trouble walking past a group of guys taller then me at school. My dad is abusive, not sexually but he beats me a lot. I try to move on and not think about it but even a year after it's as hard as it was right after it happened. I have a scar on my arm, a constant reminder. When I have sex with my current boyfriend, I keep my eyes tightly closed because I get scared sometimes. I need help. My parents don't know, only my boyfriend does and he does what he can. Dylan moved to another state, but I'm still hurting.
meja765 meja765
18-21, F
Dec 13, 2012