Before, i was unable to tell this story. It was very hard. The only way i have managed to come through in speaking of it was to talk to a friend about it, then soon another friend, and a boyfriend and so on till i finally told my mom, 10 years later. Many people know of my story now. I am not ashamed of it. When i was 6 years old, i was living in colorado. My bestfriend recently passed away a few weeks from that day, she was 5 and had cancer. I lived in a nice big dreamy house, i believe it was the nicest house ive ever lived in. My parents were in the garage playing pool with there friends, drinking and being loud, not thinking anything of it that my stepdads nephew would manage to hurt me, in a way that would affect me in the future, and for the rest of my life. I remember that night he snook into my room, threatning if i told another soul something would happen. He touched me, stuck his fingers in me , tried to kiss me, and all i could do was sit there wishing for it to be over or that my mom would walk in. I was frightened. There was once a time when he did that and my baby brother came in and he told him to leave. My bed was right next to the door, i saw my brother standing there in his diaper wide awake . He left and i still suffered. I remember once i woke up one night looking over he was sharing a bed with me. i was confused as to why he was, but i thought my parents probably sent him to bed since they were in the living room with friends. I believe he was 16 or 17 at the time? I dont know why though. But that night i was unsure if he had done anything to me while i was asleep or if he simply crawled into bed and fell asleep. It happened 4 times. throughout the years i didnt pay much attention to it as i was still a kid, more focused on friends and playing. It dawned on me again when he and his wife moved in with us once, He asked me if i wanted to "play the game we used to play" because i "liked it". I always told him no, he then started saying "were older and have bigger better parts" i still said no. i was in 4th or 5th grade i think? around 9th grade is when it really started bothering me. i would have episodes in the shower where i would break down and cry and play it like a movie in my head while i sobbed "stop" over and over again. I began to fall into depression, i cut, i would have flashbacks and was just not myself. When i finally told my mom about it, i was in the shower argueing with her over text and she asked what was my problem. it was january i believe or february of 2014. i told her what my problem was. the night before i told my mom i layed in bed crying. I messaged him on facebook and confronted him of doing so, as usual like any person being confronted, he denied i and would change the subject. I cut myself twice that night, i still have the huge blood stain on my matress of that night i layed there bleeing to death, crying, just wanting to die and confused as to why he had to deny it ! I showed my mom , he checked to see if we were able to do anything, according to her , in utah 10 years is past the amount of years before there is no longer anything to do about it. He then was accused months later of doing so to his daughter. i believe she is 6 aswell. His wife was instructed on not bringing the kids around him anymore and she still proceeded on letting him come around, soon resulting into getting caught again and both of them going to jail, kids in foster home. His wife came to my house a week ago, i didnt know she was out. But she wanted to talk about what happened. I just hope i can add on atleast a few more years or life if i am abe to testify.
iris801 iris801
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 20, 2014

You are very brave writing about it. Good luck for the future

You're a strong young lady who I hope can give courage to those who have been hurt and courage to say no and tell someone they can trust. Always remember it's not your fault and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It the ones who do the hurting that are defected human rejects