My Story Of Being Abused

During my childhood from about the age of 4 I was sexually abused for quite some years by 2 family members, and I was always told to keep it a secret and it was our secret until I got older and then the secret turn to fear if I told any one I would not see my mum again and later it became clear this was a pedophiles way of keep control.

It was when I was about 13 when I finally told my mum about the abuse and then it was taboo and my mum was ill and going though a rough time, and the 2 who was abusing me where banished from the home and nothing more was said on it.
But it started to eat away at me as I got older and child abuse was being brought out into the open and I got depressed and confused but I knew my mother was to ill for me to do anything so like you do I tried to push it to the back of my head but it kept coming forward it was like having a demon in your head and I was trying to control it.
I vowed to do something about it when my mother wasn’t here to be put though the heart ache of it all

So after my mum died in 2000 I ended up in a Psychiatric hospital as a patient for over 3 months after I had a major breakdown and tried to kill myself has living with everything that has happen finally took it's toll on me, I told my doctor and counselor about me being sexually abused, and they got in the police and I got a female officer and she was brilliant and compassion was 100% she took every thing down and it took a few visits from her and then I had to undergo examinations when I had the examination they found years old damage and scaring so this was produce as evidence.

But the CPS though the spanner in the works because they wanted more evidence even after the statements and examinations and the police told me they knew they where guilty but thanks to the CPS (Crown Prosecution Service) lack of evidence was the cause not to take it to court but later came out that a member of my family who witnessed them doing it to me refused to give a statement and if they had that would have been the icing on the cake, so thanks to them and they know who they are, so because of them refusing to do this these evil monsters are still out on the streets no doubt still doing what they did to me? So I say thank you CPS for that and ******* my life up because if you had taken it to court I wouldn’t be in fear of them coming to look for me and thinking if they still doing it because once a ********* always a *********.

WAClint WAClint
36-40, M
3 Responses Oct 10, 2009

oh my GOD!!!!!!!<br />
i have no words to say but i know how u feel cause i've been there..<br />
so hang in there and i really want to talk to u....

I am a child and domestic abuse survivor, as well as a mother of a sexually abused child. I am writing a book about ALL types of abuse to others know they are not alone in their struggle. My intention is to inform others where there is prevention, education, and support.<br />
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Education + Awareness = Prevention. I am inviting you to use my book as a platform share your testimony that will your contribution to spreading awareness. For your help I am giving a book; providing you pay the delivery. Authors may use their real name or be anonymous. I prefer 1200 words but will allow up to 1500.<br />
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I hope you will join me and the many other men, women, and organizations who are assisting me in my quest.<br />
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If you go I have extensive information, which includes letters of support from other professionals and samples of my writing. Or you may email: <br />
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I look forward to your reply. <br />
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Respectfully<br />
Sherry Clyburn

No words of condolence would be enough you have been through so much and i can't even start to imagine how it must have been for you in your life. Carrying such a burden through life is so difficult i hope you can start to enjoy life and come out the other side.