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My Dad, an alcoholic, beat me numerous times between the ages of 4 and 13. Usually it was with his belt, but anything would do. He would work himself into a rage over politics, the service, anything -- but especially me if I didn't do exactly as he told me to do. I was his handmaid as he recovered from drinking until he passed out, usually an hour or so, around 1-2 am. He would roll in in the middle of the night when the bars closed, or whenever my mom got him; she had to go to work the next day. He usually got drunk on the weekends, but not always. Once he got drunk he would do bizarre things. Once he went to City Hall (I'm not telling where but it was the city where Buck Owens is from) and delivered a rant against the major and city council from the steps. His boss picked him up and brought him home at the request of the police and my mom. So he could continue his rant by beating me, I guess. (Did I tell you he had an IQ of about 160? Yes!! No sh*t!!!) So lets see, maybe four major beatings in public, and then one where I got taken in for treatment.... (He hurt me so bad I had to go to the ER...) Meantime, although my mother tried to protect me, she tolerated him beating me to keep the 'family' alive.... it all finally came to an end when she left. Although my dad's gone now, I still have issues with him. How could anyone be such a mean drunk? How could anyone beat their own children -- principally me? How could anyone not remember what when they sobered up? After it was all over, it was even worse, he tried tot express remorse. I had to avoid him for several weeks while he moped around like he was begging my forgiveness... My brother doesn't remember it quite like I do, though we never talk about it. I feel like I was the target of most of my Dad's, anger, jealousy and fear of his own children, and his wife, who dared to love them (her children) as much as she did him. In the end, my dad was immature, a mean jealous man....
JanieNudiePants JanieNudiePants
31-35, F
1 Response Sep 22, 2012

Sometimes the smartest people are the most troubled. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. The worse I ever got was spankings with a belt on my bare butt. BTW, I lived in the Mohave near Buck's home town in the early 70's.