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I Was the Other Woman

and it was the worst decision of my life. not only did i betray myself, but i betrayed my best friend in the whole world - it was her boyfriend. there's not a day i don't look back and hate myself for what i did. i ruined so much through my inability to make good judgement. i loved her so much, but when the time came i failed to show it. and i can't believe i failed to make the connection between his willingness to cheat and a completely convoluted moral code. he was sly and convincing, and i was weak. i still love her more than anything, though, and when it comes down to it, he didn't deserve either of us. 

possibly possibly 18-21, F 10 Responses Mar 21, 2008

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People make mistakes, be strong, you will have to face the consequences of your acts, take it step by step and if the relationship with your friend is as strong as it seems it might survive this experience.

Are you seriously looking for some sort of empathy?, why should people feel sorry for you when you are in the wrong, personally i think it is disguising what you did and i am only being truthful. I guess the best advice i can give is to try and learn something from this, that immoral behaviour isn't something you should repeat and i hope you learn from this.

You claim to accept responsibility for your actions but in the end you are placing all the blame on your best friend's boyfriend. Yes, he is a liar and cheater, and yes he certainly is to blame but SO ARE YOU. Taking responsibility for your actions is about just that, owning up to what you did. The bottom line is you are not a victim. You are just as responsible for what happened as he is, even more responsible is he is really the villain you are making him out to be. And who are YOU to comment on his convoluted moral code? Why is it an "inability to make good judgement" when you **** your best friend's boyfriend, but when he ***** you suddenly this guy's morals are all messed up. Im not defending him I'm simply pointing out that you should be ashamed of yourself, not only for what you did but how you have rationalized it in your head. Good Luck
Sincerely,
A Guy Just Looking For Some Truth

...and did she ever find out?

Please don't be so hard on yourself. I am so sorry this happened to you.

Thanksfor your story...

well you knew it would hurt her but you still did it.kinda shows how u thought of yourself and your own desires more than you did of your friend`s thats how you lost her

wow, your best friend.....Im sure he wasnt worth it.

ok i know this is going to sound hypocritical but it's one thing to cheat with a "taken" man but when he belongs to a friend or family member, that's just not cool in my book. i've been on both sides of the fence and i feel if u don't know the other woman it's not as bad as doing it to someone u know. but u truly sound remorseful and sounds like u learned from your mistake. losing a good friend behind a man isn't worth it.

Hey no offense but your comment sounds accusatory than helpful.

She got involved with a guy that probably said all the things that she wished a guy would. She may been starved for affection.

Not saying it's right, just saying sometimes there are reasons.

i know very well what it's like to fall for a guy that says all the right things, to need and want attention and i know how persuasive men can be. i've been down that road but still it's wrong when the man in question belongs to a friend or family member. i may have fallen for the wrong men in the past but he didn't belong to my sister or best friend.

I must say he didn't belong to anyone as he is not a possession. To love is a choice as is commitment. It is probably more painful for the innocent friend/ spouse in this particular situation because she was betrayed by both her lover and her friend. At least you have remorse and have learned the error of the past choices.

while most people do refer to their significant other as "belonging" to them, i know very well that people aren't possessions although i doubt seriously that i'm the only person to have used that term. lets face it, most people do look at their s/o as belonging to them especially when there is a commitment.

good for you that your friend is so big hearted and forgiving but i have to admit that i probably wouldn't be. if i couldn't trust my best friend not to stab me in the back then who could i trust? there are some people in life that i expect a bit more from. as for the guy, he sounds like a man that neither of you need.

there's one thing in straying and straying with a friend or family member of mine. i think it's pretty low and i have to assume that he made a concious choice to do so providing the woman didn't have a gun to his head. and when it comes to being cheated on with someone close to me, i have a problem with that. i see it as my man and my friend/family not caring a whit about my feelings and it being all about their hormones. some people might not mind having back stabbing snakes in their life but i do.

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no, he didn't.

but darling, you regret it. and i know everyone knows it.