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I Did It...

I ended it. I didn't hear from him for several days, then he calls me yesterday as if nothing is wrong. I just realized that for 15 months, this has been entirely on HIS TERMS and that's not acceptable to me anymore. With Christmas and New Years coming, who will he be with...his wife. That's how it should be. But where will I be?? Sitting here alone, crying. That's not how it should be for ME! When did I stop being so important???

I've got 2 weeks away from him before I go back to work, and I intend to wrap my head around the fact that I am better off alone than with only a PORTION of a man. I want the whole man.

Sound pretty strong, huh? Don't let the words fool you - it's what I feel BUT...I am a mess.
tallngreeneyed tallngreeneyed 46-50 11 Responses Dec 21, 2011

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Please tell me you didn't know he was married when this started. He is a married, cheating pig. Why would you ever want to be with that? You need to learn to love yourself. If you fully did you would have never been with him.

Don't feel that way...I was in the same boat that you were in and I just ended it today after 5 1/2 months. I feel such a weight lifted off my shoulders. I do not care about being single at this point; I would rather be single and stress-free than to continue a facade with someone that you ultimately know will never be yours.

i hope to soon be on the same track as you, stay strong

You go girl :)

Well done! Just step into the wide wide world of open opportunities (rather than closed ones). You will be unhappy for a while, and then, you will find someone worth loving. Hugs.

How do you become the other woman? Dud you not know? I'm not judging just curious because I'm the wife and Lord it hurts to be in that seat when your part of a triangle and don't know it.

I do think that after a certain age (the man's age) women do know that the man is not single. He might be gay, between relationships, separated, divorced or widowed, or just, never been interested in a committed relationship before. The thing is that, once a woman lets herself give in to the love of a man who is committed, it takes a long while to get out of it. I reckon the strong thing to do is to find out in the beginning if the man is worth it or not. If he cannot be upfront about being in a relationship, or having the courage to leave it (with certain circumstances being, I believe, understandable) then you will know what will happen to you too, don't you?

For example, the certain circumstances where I would understand (but not condone staying in a bad marriage) is where the other partner is ill or handicapped. I would like to think that if I was the married partner or the fiancรฉ or girlfriend in this scenario (i.e. ill or handicapped or whatever) the first priority of my partner would be to be loyal to me, and to try and be what I would be to him if it happened to him. Unfortunately, there are women/men out there who do not see things like this.

you are so strong... wish i could do the same... tc

I've been reading stories like this but am speechless. I can feel the pain. And I can feel the pain of the woman cheated on. I've been both. I wish I could reach the place you're at but I know the pain is going to be horrendous so I'm putting it off. Hang in there. All your strength--as difficult as it is--will pay off.

I am so sorry for your heartache. Sometimes love works out and sometimes it just hurts like hell.<br />
I was also involved with a married man...my story is different , bec i also am married.<br />
We were involved for two years...trying to end it many times, only to somehow reconnect.<br />
I love the OM, but i love my husband too and have loved my husband longer and have a full life with my husband. The OM does not how he feels about his marriage...but we both knew we couldn't go on seeing each other. So not it's over for good. But it is a hearbreaking thing. I really appreciated what TheRiteThing wrote...there is a way out and with time with no contact, feelings will fade and not be so painful. Stay strong, stay away from him and best of luck

you should have a man that truly loves you .....not someone elses leftovers ...I will pray that you will find someone ....Peace L

I completely understand where you are and what you feel..Been there, done it, and am wearing the t-shirt...You have to stay strong for you...My ex MM would do the same thing...Not hear from him for days, then make it out to sound like I had the problem...after sometime went on, it got to the point where I said to him, "thats fine, you want me to call you, I'll call you at home...which is the way a normal relationship should be...I know your a mess, I was too...But believe me, with time and space for yourself comes clarity...Its been over 2months now since I put an end to all contact...I focused on me again...he still tries to contact me, but now I have the strength to ignore text and press that hangup button..and it feels wonderful...I was with him for over 2years..we become so lost with ourselves that we think we cant find our way out...but we can...For some unknown reason they become our world...we give up so much for them and really receive nothing in return..except heartache and grief...You can do this..just keep venting here...I wish you all the best..