Will I Ever Learn?I am so depressed as I write this however I know I need to write to feel better!
3 weeks ago I met a man. Yes, another married man. I love the thril, adventure and excitement however most of all i like the ATTENTION. This guy swept me off of my feet. After only a few days we decided to met in person. And let me tell you...instant attraction! I found him attractive, humerous, funny, intelligent and he gave me attention. We would talk on the phone before work, email all day while at work, talk on the ride home and text all night. We made plans to go away for my birthday weekend...it was fabulous! Then comes yesterday...Yesterday was magical! WE finally had sex and made out for hours. Eventually we decided that we were hungry and wanted to stop at the cafe. We got out of the car and I saw this look of panic on his face after he had read an email. I asked what was wrong and he replied that his wife knew he was cheating. I responded with WHAT are you kidding me?? He said no. he proceeded to tell me that his wife forwarded him emails that she found that he was talking to another woman...not me ...thank goodness. He started to shake and shared that he needed to stop further damage. He turned pale and said that he did not want a divorce. I knew this and I was not looking to change situations. I just loved being with him as a lover, friend, gf, mistress however you want to label it. HE shared that he was no longer hungry and that he would like to return to his car so that he can go to work. I obliged obviously...and drive him back to his car. We said minimun to each other. He did say that he was sorry that I had to witness this. I said that I did not know what to say and he respected that. We got back to the parking lot and he kissed me goodbye. Then then said he will let me know what happened. That was 24 hours ago and I have not heard from him..It is killing me inside. I miss him...I hurt...I ache. However I know his wife is probably hurting more. I just want him to be happy and if that means he does not contact me ever again then it is what it is.