Loneliest Man In The World

Not sure if i should “spelling out” how and why I am so lonely OR should start being supportive and tell you why you should take it easy.
I had this thought of “the loneliest man in the world” for some time now. Although not 24, I came from the middle east from a large family. Spent many years “pleasing” everyone around me. I think I have too big of a brain for my own good but I can’t “shut it up”. Too many relationships and at the end, high expectations let to too many disappointments. I got to a point where I stopped trying. Many women but never open up. No friends. Moved to a new city at age 43 due to work and I find myself not “trying” any more.
The “closest” conversations are the ones I have with my ex-wife. I don’t like her but I don’t hate her. Used to be a “party animal” and loved drinking “till I drop”. Not anymore. Relationships…ohhh… so much work and so pointless rewords. Not gay but I really dislike girls. I just work, smoke, sleep and take care of my ex as much as I despise her incompetent and lack of drive, heck, I lack drive.
I should have been dead many times over. literally, shot at many times.. still had the drive to escape and make a new life for myself. it may sound corny but i am extremely smart, well educated very sensitive guy. well abused by a large family. found my refuge in "love".loved the wrong person several times in my life and every freaking time, it hurts. sooo much. after a failed marriage and way too many girls i am the loneliest man.. cant stand this anymore 

overdoit overdoit
3 Responses Dec 5, 2012

I Lonley Man! I've learned so far in what seems like a really really long way that most people in general are twisted.
I think sometimes maybe I'm just destined to live this life without a other half. Nobody seems to know or care about loyalty! To add to that it seems that I can't find one who wants to walk beside me....not behind not in front (unless he's clearing the way) but simply to find one to absolutely adore and laugh with n play with n talk with n enjoy each other completely! There are so many people who put on a show (lie) its a scary and lonely world out here. Just know that your not alone!

Don't go looking for love anymore. Let God bring you the person that was meant for you. Live your life in a way that would make your kids proud.

that is the sad part. i wish there was god, then it wouldn't be so hard. some super power will make all the wrongs right. sadly i don't believe there is any super power anymore. just us humans screwing with each other's lives

I to feel like the loneliest person in the world, sometimes.good luck.