My Sister

My sister abused me for years. She is only one year older than me, but she has always been significantly stronger than me. The abuse started out slow. When we were very young, there was no physical abuse. The worst thing she ever did was make fun of me and not let me play with her friends. Then, as we got older, she started hitting me or holding my arm behind my back or pushing me. She would often do this to entertain her friends. They would stand around me cheering her on. Around middle school, it got a lot worse. She would hit me, kick me, and shove me until I did whatever she wanted. She started frequently choking me. It would get bad. I sometimes thought she was going to kill me. It's only by God's grace that she didn't. Now our relationship is healing. She's sorry for everything she did. The healing of our relationship is really difficult. My personal healing is just as hard. I can't sleep well. I'm terrified of being choked. I even get scared when I see someone being choked on TV or if someone merely touches my neck. I have nightmares sometimes of being beaten, choked, or killed. I'm jealous of people I know who have good relationships with their sisters. I have low self esteem because I sometimes believe the things she said about me. But healing is possible. It's slowly coming, both in me personally, and in our relationship. Don't give up. Forgiveness is sweet. It's hard, but it's worth it. God is good.
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26-30
4 Responses Dec 8, 2012

Never allow anyone to take advantage of you...weakness should not be interpreted as goodness. We should draw a line somewhere...take care :-)

I'm sorry you had to endure that.

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you are a very strong person i dont kbow how i could forgive all that but good for u
stay strong!!! :) x

thats ok hope ur life is going well now xx

yeh i feel the same xx