I've Always Been Told "i Can't"

I was told I could never sing on Broadway because I was too tall, not cute, and had too big of a voice. I was told and forced to sing opera from the age of 14. I hated it then and was in love with musical theater.

My mother told me when I was applying for college that I could never do anything except opera and music education because I wasn't smart enough to do anything else.

She said I was too stupid to write my college application essays and was unable to fill it out. She did it all.

She said I could never survive if I wanted to move out of the house. I could never live in the real world.

When I when to a music conservatory to study opera, my mother told me I couldn't change my major becase she would pull all funding from my education.

When I eventually fell in love with opera and was considered the best singer at my school, my teacher told me to give up singing because I couldn't handle it. During that time no one realized I had ADD. I couldn't 'get it' on her time schedule. I also had the uncanny ability to get one illness after another. I was falling behind. I was also battling with depression and was often overwhelmed with emotion to reach my full potential. I gave up my new dream because she told me to.

To this day I have nightmares. I have so many nightmares because I gave up. I still long to sing Russian and German opera. I knew my potential. I was told by countless teachers at my school that I was a rare Wagnarian Soprano. I was a powerhouse that could last for hours with my endurance. I have a beautiful sound.

Instead I went to a photography school and took out loans for my graduate degree. Now I am holding myself back. I've been told so often 'I can't that now I'm telling myself that I can't. It's always in my head. I will forever second guess and doubt my abilites. I haven't gotten anywhere.
whitecat22 whitecat22
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 25, 2011

I looked up Wagnarian Soprano, seeing as how I had no idea what it was... turns out you've a fairly rare voice.<br />
Is it too late to audition somewhere? <br />
(I don't know a thing about this, but if you're good, it's worth trying again.)<br />
good luck and take care

=[ si se puede! si se puede! si se puede! i was born always doubting myself and my mom use to say that to me all the time it means "yes we can" in spanish so next time your feeling doubt just think si se puede! si se puede! si se puede! and when you say it out loud it can be very empowering=]