I Published My Story of Torture
Torture is a difficult subject for survivors of torture to talk about. All victims don't react in the same manner to the effects of torture. Some victims strong willed can endure the pain to recall the torture while other traumatized victims may not recall the torture automatically. I identify with victims of the latter.
When I suffered torture my reaction was to block it out of my mind which lead to my condition of temporary amnesia. It is puzzling to feel pain, see my injuries, and yet have no recollection of what caused my condition. I don't know what my reaction would have been if any witnesses were to disclose to me what they saw happened. I may not have believed a witness due to the fact of no recollection of the torture having occurred. My suggestion for victims with amnesia is to give yourself time to recover your memories of torture on your own. That's how I learned of the torture I endured.
It is due to my previous traumatic history that I developed MPD/DID which causes the conditon of my amnesia whenever I suffer from the effects of torture and/or trauma. However, my lost memories are regained through flashbacks without sequence so it does take time to comprehend my traumatic experiences.
Unfortunately, this torturous incident was a cover-up and my torturer was not held responsible for his actions leaving me feeling devastated and craving for justice. To help myself deal with my feelings I published my true story in a book that will remain nameless on EP to protect my true identity.
I recommend to other survivors of torture to write your story as an outlet for relief from the painful memories you endured. It was a relief for me to accomplish writing my story and it can be a relief for you too.