Still Living In Fear

I llive in fear every day of the day he gets out of prison, but I have come a long way in my healing. I am terrified, actually, as his family lives in the same town I do and I know this is where he will come back, but I am not moving. I refuse to let him have total control anymore.

I try to stay one step ahead of him by understanding how he works and why. That is why I began taking psychology classes....I wanted to know 1.) How could I let that happen to me and my children? and 2.) What kind of person does the things he did to  me and my animals?

I know now he is a true antisocial personality, like Charlie Manson, like Ted Bundy, and I don't want to be his first human kill.


bluehaiku bluehaiku
41-45, F
4 Responses Feb 18, 2009

I think you mean sociopaths? People incapable of compassion or moral decision making.

I highly recommend you move somewhere else away from all this and start again. The world is a huge place with lots of good people. you don't need to be emotionally locked down because of one abusive person. He is unlikely to have gotten any more pleasant in jail, don't take any risks with someone who sounds like they have nothing to lose. Be safe.

You can't live in fear, it's going to ruin you. Start training a martial art, the one that's made for dirty fighting, like Krav maga, you know, something that makes you feel capable of defending yourself and your family. Don't underestimate self-defense classes. I trained karate for a few years. I'm somewhat weak for a guy, but I can beat 2 average strength guys, not with brute strength, but with skill and experience I've gained over the years.

Please keep safe, don't risk anything. CelticFace is so right. Take good care of yourself and your lovely family.