I should have known better, especially with all the strikes against us. For once in my life, I was happy & foolishly thought that I'd be able to hold on to it. For once I was thinking positive.... Yeah, a lot of fat good that did me!!

See, Shane & I had known one another since we were 14. He had actually asked me to our junior high prom. He of course then went & asked my best friend at the time. So I didn't go to prom, & my mom NEVER forgave him for hurting me.

Then we met up again about 8 years later. Tried the couple thing, but didn't last 3 weeks. He was scared & said he just didn't feel that way about me. I was crushed, & mom was pissed....AGAIN!

Well, the next time was a couple of years later. That time we were just friends "with benefits". I knew that I would probably regret it because I loved him & knew he didn't feel the same. I was right, but I had learned to hide the hurt from mom. I knew what I was getting into & I didn't want him blamed for my feelings. He couldn't help the way he felt, & I couldn't help the way I felt.

Then, on Aug.14th, 2003, when the lights went out across most of Southern Ontario, he called me up outta blue. We started talking & eventually got together for a coffee. We started seeing one another again. On March 12th,2004 he told me he loved me for the first time. I was in heaven, because I had loved him since I was 21 years old.

Mom wasn't happy. In fact, she was seriously pissed when I asked her to think about letting Shane move down home with us when the time came. We were together 3 years at that time. He had only hurt me once, & that was because his dad had just died & he was feeling depressed, alone, & just didn't want to deal with anything or anyone.

Mom gave in, because she loved me & was afraid I wouldn't move with her if Shane couldn't come. I personally think she was praying we'd break up & he'd chicken out before we moved. Shock of all shocks, he didn't.

I should have known something was off though, when he said he'd love to move with us, it would be an "adventure". Well, Nova Scotia wasn't as great financially as we had thought it would be. The stress of having to travel over an hour for work & momma not really taking anything he said seriously (of course he was bad for doing that to her as well). It didn't work. He hung on for close to 3 years, but then the last year was a mess. We were barely speaking, sex had disappeared completely & he just wanted to stay on his computer when he was home. I'd have to nag him to shovel snow or mow the lawn. It was bad..... He left me November 16th, 2008. I still love him, but I realize I'm not "in" love with him. I wish him nothing but happiness in his life & I hope that he's happy back in Toronto with his family & his friends.

  Teri (I miss you baby)

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7 Responses Mar 5, 2009

let go of the past & look to the future for better things x

Good. One day at a time :)

Are you feeling better today ?

My girlfriend and I live 1100 miles apart. We are making it work. When you say it's too far we'd probably never meet you are defeating yourself. If you find someone and the love is mutual you won't let anything stand in your way. Don't give up. Try to stay positive. Things can always work out :)<br />
Big Hugs<br />

The world is a big never know who you'll come across :)

(hugs). Your heart will heal! When you're ready to start dating again, you will find a friendly, sweet, loving, affectionate, kind, considerate gentleman!

I have no words of wisdom to soothe the pain of a broken heart. Hugs to you Wyn.