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You can read my blog if you want to know more details.  My mom only taught me how to rely on her.  Whenever I needed something done that I didn't know how to do, she would just do it for me.  As the old saying would go, she gave me the fish, but didn't teach me how to fish.  For example, if I ever had to wear a tie, she would tie it for me, but she never taught me how to tie a tie.  If I needed to go somewhere, she would take me there, but she never gave me a car of my own.  The only job I ever had is one that she got me when I wasn't even expecting it, but she never taught me how to apply for a job.

RopinTexan RopinTexan 22-25, M 19 Responses Apr 15, 2008

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What's Americorps?

Hmm...that's a definite possibility. My mom's mom didn't overprotect my mom like my mom does me.

I am guilty of doing the same with my only son. Have you ever heard the term you always want to do more for your children than your own parents did for you! I regret most of these things now even though my son will be turning 19 soon it is so hard not to want to do everything I can to make his life easier. The otherside to this is maybe I have led him to believe he was not able to do things for his self. It's very hard for me to curb the urge to continue this behavior. I don't know your story and no one would ever know it but maybe your mom felt the same way I did. No excuses, just love.

not sure how your schools does things. no harm in asking. plus it's experience.

Yeah, but my mom pays all the expenses before the semester starts. No loans. So would the money just carry over to where she wouldn't have to pay for the next semester?

you have xpenses. lab fees, book costs. or just put it in a campus account for when you need it for campus activity. use it to offset dorm fees... or whatever. check with campus offices...they have people that do nothing but that.

Wow, that would be nice getting credit for the work...then I can graduate sooner. But I don't have any loans, so where would that half go?

work/study. most schools have monies available... you work (for example) in the campus book store; half your pay goes to repay the loan, half goes in your pocket as pay check, and some schools also offer partial credit hours depending on where you're working, such as the library, or class assistant. similiar to RAs getting a break on room/board fees.

What's a work study program?

What's a work study program?

scholarships and grants are a dime a dozen...and don't forget work study programs galore. (got a friend who apllies everday for about 15 minutes...takes whatever she gets and figures out the rest as she goes)

Yeah, it was my first semester. I was so used to my mom telling me to do my homework and study and stuff. That first semester, living without her, I was so relieved to not having her tell me what to do, I hardly ever studied. So that's why I ended up making bad grades and losing my scholarship...



Anyway, I think I've learned my lesson now.

sometimes it is indeed a leap of faith. and college can be one big giant springboard.

Yeah, I know it's supposed to come in steps (i.e. get your driver's license and a girlfriend when you're 16, register to vote when you're 18, etc.), but I'm so far behind, I don't have time to take those small steps anymore. If I ever want to catch up, I'll have to take all those steps I missed at once.

independence comes in steps. rough starting late, but better late than never. My sons are all grown now. I did a lot for them, but i also taught them they have two feet of their own to stand on. my youngest asks advice...(my baby is just shy of 19) but sometimes he doesn't take it. and sometimes i just want to 'fix' things for him. unfortunately i can't.

it's hard for us (moms) sometimes to watch y'all grow so fast, and we see the hurt and hard times ahead. so in our effort to love and nurture and guide we smother instead of mother.

give her hug, tell her thanks and then make a choice. (just one at a time)

Georgia, I'm not the one that needs to let go. Mama is. I really want her to let go. And I sure hope I don't marry someone that treats me like my mother. I don't need two mothers. It's enough trouble putting up with one! I either want to marry someone very submissive or not get married at all.

power to you buddy. I think life skills is something you learning and not something you are born with.

Soon she'll have to let go if you wish it so.

I am wondering how long it will be until you can let go.

I'm wondering if you will eventually marry someone who will tie your ties for you. effectively replacing your mother.

She does encourage me to be independent. But she still never will let go completely.