What If The Enterprise Had Windows Voice Recognition Software?

I decided to try out voice recognition a while ago and as i painfully went thru 3 hrs trying to argue a 1500 word story into my computer, I started to daydream out of boredom and or frustration.  I started to imagine what would the Enterprise be like if it had the voice recognition software i was using......

"Computer dim the lighting." -   "It is not currently scientifically possible to drown lightning."

"Red alert!" -  computer notifies the science officer that the captain requires them to bio-engineer a red aardvark

"Warp 9 engage!" - "I am sorry that you are finding your nine warts enraging.  I have notified the ships doctor should I also notify the ships counsellor?"

"Computer display the scan results."  - "The enterprise is not currently equipped with scam roosters to deploy."

"Computer open shuttle bay doors." -   "There are currently no floors on the enterprise where the activity of hay shuffling is practiced let alone open positions.  This activity does not seem to be in my database."

"Fire Phasers!" -  "Burning starfleet issue blazers or any article of starfleet uniform is against starfleet regulations.  I am unable to comply."

Ummmmm.......  Long live the Romulan Empire? lol
badbinary badbinary
41-45, M
3 Responses Sep 7, 2012

interesting day dream. no doubt the voice software will improve and more of everyones time will be spent speaking with computers instead of humans. rage against the machine!

I just found this story and you know what? You are talented and should work on a comic starship enterprise episode. Remember pigs in space?

I do Rickie I do. Imagining windows voice recognition trying to understand a muppet is kind of funny too. I wish I had the talent to write something like Red Dwarf. That show is a classic. Thanks mate.

i loved Pigs In Spaaaace

I had to google the series and now I'm really upset. We miss so many great series here in Germany. Now I have to watch it on youtube, hope that it's there.

bb...I totally cracked up reading this!! AWESOME!! :D Great to have ya back...;)

Thanks sierra mate =) Its nice to do some light hearted stuff amongst the dozen half finished darker stories. Glad you found it funny.