Me, My Aprons And My Shame

I really have had a difficult relationship with aprons ever since I was a child. They have been an overwhelming fetish for me all the time I can remember. From the earliest moments of my childhood, so it isn't just sexual. After puberty, it has also been sexual which has unfortunately only made things more complicated since it means that I've been even more ashamed about it than I already was.

I don't know what has caused it, since there were no aprons present in my childhood. My mother or my grandmother never wore them, we never even had one in our household. But whenever we were out and about, my eyes would be fixated on anybody who was wearing an apron. And aprons are pretty prominent since people at the meat counter in the grocery store, the people at cafe shops and hairdressers all don their aprons in their work, just to name a few.

It might've been better if there had been more aprons in my childhood, because maybe I could've gotten it out of my system. But no, my childhood was spent hoping for more opportunities to wear them. But they were scarce. And since I was pretty embarrassed about feeling so strongly about them, I never said anything to anybody to wake any suspicions (as if someone would've had any regardless) and therefore my opportunities wearing them were few and far between. When I went to sleep, I used to think about aprons and hoping that I could wear them more.

Things changed when I hit puberty, the most hellish period of anyones life. My apron fetish became sexual, even though it's not completely about it. Aprons do help me get off if I am in a sexual context, but if I'm not, I just enjoy wearing them and the warm, fuzzy feeling having one tied in front of me brings. It doesn't arouse me, it's just really nice. But if I do get aroused, nothing's as sexy as a pretty lady donning an apron (yes, I'm lesbian and ironically I'm completely ok with that as opposed to my apron fetish).

At the same time home ec. started, so aprons were mandatory, but in my general angstiness of being a teenager and coping with heavy bullying pretty much meant that my wearing them or the girls wearing them around me didn't have much impact on me. So it was the same as if I hadn't worn any anyway. Our school had a bunch of plastic aprons that we had to borrow from the stack of them, and much to my shame I did steal one of them in the hopes that wearing one of them at home would be more beneficial. But it wasn't really, the guilt about stealing it took all the pleasure away. So I was still practically leading an apron-deprived life.

Years went by and finally I moved out on my own. Naturally I spent some of my money on acquiring some aprons, but again it didn't feel right. The aprons that I had weren't that great and I just felt kind of foolish wearing them. And the reason for that was the deep shame I felt about the whole deal. The shame that I've felt all my life and still do, although I've progressed to the point where I'm finally enjoying wearing them in the privacy of my own home.

The shame is very complex. There's the pretty simple shame I've felt since childhood that is just feeling really weird about having a wonky fetish like this. That's pretty simple and something I've been working on. The other part of it is the really weird shame that I feel because while normally the fetish doesn't have a sexual part in it, the fact that it is a sexual thing for me when I'm aroused makes me feel really dirty about it the rest of the time.

It makes me feel really especially bad when I see women wearing aprons publicly at their work, especially if they wear cute or gorgeous ones. Because I am fetishising their appearance because they're wearing something that is completely mundane to their daily existence, I really feel that I'm being entirely inappropriate about the whole thing. They're not wearing the apron for my enjoyment and would probably feel pretty bad if they knew that a kinky dyke is admiring them from afar.

This dilemma also extends to my house, since it means that doing stuff while wearing aprons feels weird. I feel like I shouldn't be doing regular stuff while I'm indulging in my fetish because it seems inappropriate to "taint" those things with fetishy things. I don't want to answer the phone while wearing one, because it would feel that I'm being wholly inappropriate and it would be extremely unfair towards the person who is calling. These thoughts make wearing aprons pretty impractical a lot of the time even though I am a bit of a loner.

Fortunately I've finally at least reached the point where I can really enjoy wearing them and have been on a bit of a buying spree the past couple of weeks. I just love every kinds of apron just as long as they're full aprons, because please, waist aprons are just a joke if you ask me! Mostly I'm quite butch, but for some reason with aprons I want to go as femme as I can so a lot of frills and pretty bows for me.

Life is strange.
ulla070707 ulla070707
31-35, F
4 Responses Jan 10, 2013

You are a bit like me, then. But I don't feel any shame about liking aprons.

nice honest post, pls dont feel dirty or ashamed, wonky fetish ! uts one shared by quite a few,hurts no one and honestly really quite enjoyable

I sent you a private note that said something like "That was thought provoking", Which I guess it was but what I really wanted to send was something like "I feel that way too". I'm the same as you in that I have a deep apron fetish, it's slightly more precise as I am only a fan of a particular type of PVC aprons. My experience of early life was very similar to yours I really can't remember anyone in our family ever wearing a PVC apron. There is a possibility that I just saw those families where people did wear aprons as just more relaxed and open than mine and that added to the attraction. I would feel guilty at looking at pictures of people in aprons or seeing them wearing them because like you I felt that they had the right not to be in my sexual fantasy. It would cause me quite deep feelings of guilt and depression. This guilt didn't really go away until about a fortnight ago when my wife bought me a PVC apron, and now I don't feel any guilt at looking at people wearing aprons.

Then I started to think of other situations where the roles might be reversed, would I care if someone was "perving" over me. Now there may be women (or even men) who get over excited by mid 40's sightly overweight men wearing jeans and a T-shirt, but it's not likely is it?

I was at an all boys boarding school in the 80's and in truth some terrible grooming and abuse both sexual and physical went on .. All the perpetrators of this claimed to be 100% hetrosexual and certainly would not have thought of themselves as perverts. We had just one teacher who was openly homosexual and (I discovered later) was in a long term relationship with another man. He was always open in his complimenting of boys appearance and he would frequently say in sort of Larry Grayson voice "Oh he's a very nice boy" Did he ********** while thinking of me? I don't know and in truth if he did I would argue that it was his business, in no way did it affect me and if it excited him then why not. I think the masters who used to hang around in the showers making comments about teenage boys genitalia, making jokes about picking up the soap and suggesting that certain boys were "gay", they are the ones I resent to this day.

Also these things have gone really quite "Mainstream" now. There was a TV commercial on the other night for a website called "Uniform Dating", the premise of this is that there are enough people with a fetish about Nurses uniforms, Police Uniforms ETC that there is a website to bring those people together with the people who wear these uniforms. Basically society is saying "It's ok to perv over people in uniforms because we have decided that they are sexy". Put it this way .. if your girlfriend confessed to you that she had a thing about Policewomen and had *********** over the thought of a cute one she had seen, would you think that was wrong? Or would you start looking on Ebay for very authentic police uniforms? Don't get me wrong I'm not criticizing your guilt (as it's something I share!) , I'm just trying to convince you that it's not "dirty".

Thanks for your story, which I can sympathise with.

I too have a humiliating desire and need to wear bibbed PVC aprons over my uniform, although I think I am more compelled to than you as I have to wear multiple aprons.

Since my wife found out my fetish, I now wear a nurse or maid dress, tabard (English apron that has a front and back and fastens at the side with buttons or ties), bibbed PVC kitchen apron, half/waist apron (I like all kinds of apron) and then another full length, transparent PVC apron with cross over ties, which she locks me into. I also have to wear either a rubber or plastic shower cap and rubber gloves at all times.

I find this entire set up embarrassing and I get totally humiliated but this adds to my sexual arousal as my wife the leaves me like this as she goes out to work.

Like you I love to see girls in aprons and always get an erection when my wife puts on hers. I have no idea why I feel like this but it harms no one, I am wholly content in my daily uniform and aprons and my wife gets a clean and well run house.

PM if you want to chat more on this or anything else.