Going into a residential rehab program was quite possibly the best decision of my life. Of course I wasn't very optimistic about it to begin with. The only reason I decided to go was because all of my own efforts got me nowhere and I felt like I needed something drastic in order to achieve lasting change.

While I wouldn't have deemed my life unmanageable at that point, it was most certainly on its way to becoming so. I was physically ill all the time and had become dead weight at work. I just didn't have the energy to do anything anymore. I was also starting to slip on my financial obligations and my living space was an absolute mess. Life had become stagnant and unbearable. I thought a lot about suicide and just couldn't think of anything good that would come of continuing to live.

Again, I just decided that I should try something drastic in order to get my life back. I called a local residential program and got set up for intake. I went through detox for five days and then was stepped down into residential living.

Communal living and sharing a room with somebody was very different for me. I was such a huge isolator that I got easily overwhelmed by having to be around others at all times during the day. It was stressed to me though that doing uncomfortable things was the only way I would heal and grow. Even though it was very difficult at first, that advice was absolutely right. The more uncomfortable things I did, the better I started to feel.

While in residential I made several close friends and learned from many of their experiences. Sharing in a group setting was another uncomfortable thing for me, but it was one of the most beneficial parts of the program. You get to hear so many different perspectives on things and can almost always learn something from a group session. I kept my notepad with me and wrote down anything that I thought I could apply to my life once I went back home.

I stayed for the full 28 days and graduated from the program. I have since enrolled in an intensive outpatient program and am still reaping the benefits of recovery and group sharing. I attend AA meetings every day and receive such an incredible boost from it. The fellowship is amazing... I surround myself with people who understand and who care about my life and my success in the program. I'm still friends with a lot of the folks that I went through residential with as well. We get together, talk on the phone, and have generally made an effort to maintain a presence in each others lives.

Rehab seems to be either a total win or a complete bust for people, but in my case it was the best thing I could have done for myself. If anybody is reading this and is contemplating a rehab program, I would like to encourage you to give it a try. Not all rehab programs are run the same and sometimes there will be people in there with you that make things difficult or weird. Just remember that you are there for yourself though... nobody else. And also be prepared to come to terms with your addiction. Rehab won't do any good unless you are accepting of your problems. It's not easy to get to that point, and I honestly wasn't completely there when I checked in, but when I thought about the life that I had been leading... I knew I didn't want that anymore. Recovery is an ongoing journey and learning how to live a sober life is a rewarding thing.
sapphiresky86 sapphiresky86
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 14, 2014

Way to go. Keep on keepin on. Thanks for sharing your story.