10 years ago.

I'd tried to stop/control/change my drinking for years. But seriously I tried started in April 2003 to really curb my drinking. In that year I tried them all - changing drinks, counting drinks, drink diaries, only drinking after a time, with meals, only when on a business trip... blah blah blah.

A year on it was a bad, if not worse than ever. I had two horrendous bouts of really heavy drinking. In the middle of one I stood on a high cliff willing myself to jump but I couldn't. I went back to the pub, bought another beer and sat there absolutely hating myself.

Last day my wife sent a text about something saying we could celebrate that night. Celebrate? Celebrate what? I hated myself and thought I didn't deserve anything. I went on another bender.

When I got home we had a blazing row. I gave up there and then - laid down and cried for hours. I checked into a rehab a few days later. I spent 6 weeks there full time then went back for about a year on a day programme.

I've not drunk since - it'll be 10 years soon.
Best decision I ever made.
deleted deleted
26-30
May 2, 2014