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What This Dom Looks For In A Submissive Woman

Due to the fact that Doms and subs differ just as people differ in the vanilla world, the question posed by the title of this group is nearly impossible to answer, but I can speak to what I look for in a submissive.

If you have read any of my earlier posts in other experience groups you will know that I am a firm believer in understanding and utilizing psychology with subs and slaves over and above the use of force. I look for a sub/slave who is submissive by nature and then seek to cultivate that submissiveness to develop her further so that she can take pride in her submission and be happiest when she is serving me.

I have found that in our society we have been training girls to believe that they need not be submissive and should be powerful in their own right. Some women find themselves totally unhappy as adults as a result of this training because it conflicts with their innate desire to be submissive. I take these women and help them to understand their own needs and desires and to accept them as who they are, thereby freeing them to abandon what they have been taught and to be their true selves. Once freed of the shackles of "normalcy" placed upon them by parents and society they are much happier with themselves and thankful to me for helping them to be true to their own desires. Once a sub is freed of those societal bonds, she can then be molded into the type of sub the Dom desires.

It should be noted that it is important for the Dom to know the sub as well, if not better, than she knows herself. Armed with that knowledge, the Dom will find it much easier and quicker to guide the sub in her training as she will be much more willing to accept that direction as she will know that it is what she both wants and needs.

My goal has always been to mold a sub into one who needs to serve me in order to be happy. She realizes that it is in her best interests to be totally obedient as through her obedience and service she finds her own happiness and fulfillment. A happy and contented sub is the very best kind that a Dom can have as she is constantly striving to please her Dom in order to achieve her own pleasure and happiness.
leadtrainer69 leadtrainer69 61-65, M 3 Responses Dec 21, 2010

Your Response


I am a powerful woman in my business however when it gets to the bedroom I want to serve and care for a master. I have a hair fetish which I have only in the past few years become aware of. If a man suggests a haircut I get weak - literally. My fantasy is to have my master or a sexy minion give me an ultra short cut while I kneel and show my gratitude. I would then 'wear' my new outfit - a dog collar and lead with high heels and perform in any way that would please my master to say thank you for my transformation. I do not like violence of any kind so I am ready to serve a master who enjoys humiliation and incredible libido. The truth is that I absolutely love sex and especially when being ordered to perform. I would love to meet a master with experience because even though the physical side of sex is exciting the mental side if mind blowing - literally. xxxx

There's a key difference between a D-type who sees a modern, powerful woman and wants to make her into something smaller, and a D-type who wants to help her to feel connected to part of something *larger*.<br />
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I've been thinking about this a lot lately, the relationship of Dominant men to submissive women with dominant personalities. It seems to go wrong fairly often, and I think your example above is a good example of when it can go right.

Sir,<br />
Is happiness merely one sided? While it’s true that the Sub does derive happiness and contentment in being dominated, does it not give happiness and pleasure, in equal measure, to the Dom? Like love, which flows in both directions and can never be one-sided, happiness between the Dom and his Sub, must be perceived by both. Then only will the joy of dominating and being dominated be ecstatic for the two. I ask forgiveness, once again, for being expressive in my views.<br />
Submissively<br />