This is kind of crap. Ive been through situations where it should have killed me. In a way it has made me strong but yet also weak. I still harbor a lot of hurt and pain from the past. I can't get past some things that happened to me. And it has left me a mistrusting person. I have a husband which i love very much but he would like more then i can do. I have no sexual fantasy's after my ex. I dont want any other person. I have considered trying just for my husband but being touched by someone else xreeps me out. I just want to be happy and get over it but i can't. Not even sure how. I do know that i will not be hurt again. And i will fight for what i have. So maybe in ways i am stronger but in others ways i am also weak.
WhisperingEchoes WhisperingEchoes
36-40, F
2 Responses Aug 18, 2014

You have gained strength by simply telling your story. You can understand where your reservations come from, something many others cannot see. To me it sounds as though you have made strides to "being happy and getting over your past". For instance, you are in another relationship, you say you love you husband, and you will fight for what you have. Your past may have left scars that cannot be seen by the naked eye, but they have given you inner strength and insight that cannot be taken away.

Thank you

Then I should have been dead years ago!