I’m apologizing in advance because this experience is going to take a few minutes to read. I have to however start to process what happened in some way and I’m trying this the best way I know how.

What I’m about to tell you, happened Saturday night to my son and I. I haven’t been able to really sleep since then. I’m having my second cup of coffee tonight because I’m afraid to fall asleep…I can still hear the glass breaking…

5 April 2015 in the early morning hours

Eyes open…then close, flying open suddenly

There it is again…Lulu barking from somewhere inside the house. Suddenly the power’s out and something’s missing…no sound of the supermarket opposite the street’s generator kicking in. A quick look out the window shows it’s just my house. Fear wraps it’s hand around my neck and the dark isn’t helping...my Nyctophobia (phobia characterized by a severe fear of the dark) making things worse, but I’ve been training myself into at least staying calm…with the guiding light of my cell phone I walk to the kitchen and just as my hand reach out to open the electricity box Lulu’s growl rips through the night right into my worst nightmare. Everything happened so fast…I registered a few things all at once. One… someone’s trying to get into the house, two… voices outside the kitchen window, three… I have absolutely nothing to defend us with, four… I am absolutely not even a little bit prepared for this, five… realize I have to keep quiet and not scream and give my location in the house away. I still have a few minutes.... I hear my father’s voice as clear as the day just before he passed away in the back of my mind…”Always keep calm girl and think! Get to the room furthest in the house from where you first heard a noise and lock the door behind you. Go sit in the furthest corner of the room facing the door and keep your eyes and ears on it. Keep your weapon pointed at the door and brace your arms on your knees if you have to while calling for help. Stay low. The moment they start to try and get through the door you shoot two shots and you shoot to kill, my girl. Immediately after that two shots into the air. Survival, my girl…survival” Yes, father except…I don’t have gun, the police aren’t what they used to be when you were a detective, they’ll never be here on time to help us…MY SON! Mother's instinct kicks in in full force and I run to my son’s room. Pick him up and get my behind to my room. I can’t even remember grabbing the torch beside his bed but it’s in my hand and presses it into his hand. “Ok, hunny. Do you remember the Shhhhh game we used to place when Daddy got home?” He nods and somewhere in the deepest recesses of my mind it hits me like a knife in the gut…he remembers…but I’m happy at that moment that he does. He knows to keep very quiet and stay out of sight until Mommy comes to get him. I kiss him and lock my heart in there with him along with a prayer of his angels protecting him. Lulu is still barking and growling and sounds as if she’s attacking someone…a pang of fear for her hit me…my son comes first…I look around the room for something, anything I can use as a weapon…I grab my perfume and I still don’t remember how it got there but I suddenly saw a steak knife…it’s not much but it’s something…I slam my back into the corner…hands shaking…dammit work with me…I hear the dial tone for the police station, I have no chance at all if I phone the other number…police station is my best bet. It rings…no answer. Damn hands won’t stay still…rings again…still no answer. F!!! I can’t remember my stepfather’s number…thank heavens for a contact list on cell phones…he answers within the first four rings…all I said was…”Daddy help, power’s off. Someone’s in the house.” At this point Lulu was clearly fighting someone and he could hear that. “I’m coming! Lock the door!” he shouted…I still don’t know if he said anything further because a few things happened all at once. I heard a loud crash, glass breaking…shouting… footsteps running past my bedroom window and Lulu running, barking and growling after them. I don’t know how long I sat there but at the back of my mind I register that there’s silence, Lulu isn’t barking anymore…and then I swear my heart stopped for a few seconds when I suddenly heard my stepfather’s voice from outside my bedroom window. “S…?! S…?! You in there? Answer me!” I swear I’ve never heard a more beautiful voice than right at that moment. I run to the closet and unlock it. My son is crying but he’s ok…I went to open the door and my stepfather wrap us up in his safety. My mother just behind him and completely out of character for her she hugs us to her as well and she’s crying. I melt into her hug, smelling that scent that is just my beautiful mother…and then from nowhere…Lulu appears and jumps on us, licking my son and I…she’s the one that’s hurt and saved us, she's the hero but she’s licking and loving us…humbling to the core that is…I give my son to my mother and wrap my arms around Lulu…”Thank you mommy’s brave girl” She had cut one of her paws on the class when she ran after them. I clean and wrap her paws. Daddy checked round inside and around the house a few times. Mom calls the police station again, no cars available…they told her… but she knows better anyway. Nobody was hurt; nothing was stolen, so they won’t be sending a car anyway. Daddy comes back…he found 4 sets of footprints…4…..and the images I’d seen on facebook being spread of the horrible crimes here, the reports on the news and stories I’ve heard, flash through my mind….4…I wouldn’t have had a chance in hell against 4…and at that point I realised that I kept thinking…God, please don’t let them find my son and make him watch…over and over and over throughout what happened in some part of my mind or maybe it was my heart and soul screaming it…I honestly don’t know which, all I know is…I was heard…

We all needed some sugar in our systems and something to help us settle down so I made some very sweet tea for everyone. We drank it in silence with a thick cloud of what could have happened, what almost happened… hanging in the air. My son fell back asleep with his head on my mother’s shoulder and his little hand on his grandfather’s shoulder. My mother kept kissing him and the look in Daddy's eyes as he looked from me to that little face and hand on his shoulder then back at me…words will never do it justice… As I looked at the three people in this world I loved most I realized that that thickness in the air was overpowered by the love and light dancing through it emanating from us all without a word being said….

It was only after they had gone, my son safe in his bed again, Lulu sleeping beside me and I checked the locks again and again that I climbed into the warm comfort of my bed, buried my face in my pillow and let loose the river of tears that had threatened to burst through the whole night, that I kept back because I knew my son would see it and become more upset and my mother and stepfather wouldn’t have left then either. I cried until I couldn’t feel anymore…no tears left anymore…and it was with the first rays of dawn that I fell into a restless sleep again.

SensualPassionbbw SensualPassionbbw
31-35, F
4 Responses Apr 7, 2015

I am happy you are ok. Harrah to Lulu!! Extra vittles for her!!

You need to go room by room and make it and defendable. A gun is fine..but you dont need a cannon either. You need something that fits your tiny hands. Something you are comfortable with. Also you might consider an exit plan. That you and your son rehearse. Your bedroom window...and make arrangements to meet up...or someone.

Train Lulu to attack on a certain word that has nothing to do with attack. There is a reason.

Hair spray and a lighter scare hell outta folks. Great torch and flame thrower... spray their eyes..then spray face..use lighter. ..all the prior spary will ignite with you flame thrower...run like hell....

Be smart and calm..you did good talking yourself down...great job super mom!!

All good things and I never thought of training Lulu on a word that has nothing to do with attack...smart... Yes, it only makes sense to get a small handgun. It won't be much use if I can't even hold it in position. oh Lulu got a lot of delicious treats just for her. Thank you for the advice :-)

thats better.


yes it will not kill u darling.i like u homey.

Exucuse me...you don't even know me. Please go trolling elsewhere.

Thank you for sharing. I am so thankful for Lulu

Thank you Lisa, yes as we all are. She is our hero....

You need to follow your father's advice. Go purchase a handgun ASAP. Train and practice with it regularly. The police are the last people to count on in a true emergency.

Yes, true CannaCat...I am definitely looking into that. My father did show us how to shoot and I'm a very good shot actually. I just don't own a gun but will soon...

I'd suggest a . 357 Magnum w/ a 4-6" barrel. What's sweet about a . 357 is you can target practice most of the time with .38 police special bullets, which are cheaper. Or if the kick of shooting . 357's is too much, they do make hollow points and personal defense rounds. Best of luck to you! :o)

I can get a .38 but it's much too big for my small hands. Thank you for the suggestions. I will look into it. :-)

You can get very skinny grips. And a .38 is not a big revolver. If you can get a good grip on a hairbrush, you can get a good grip on a .38.

I went through a stub nose, a 4" barrel, and a 6" barrel, all made by Colt as a young teenager.

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