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I Once Had A Family.

I had a family when I was a child: a full set of parents, but no siblings. My parents were with me into their 'eighties. So I still had a family when I left my husband. I had my parents and my darling son. When my parents died, I had my darling son, so I still had a family. And now, the unthinkable has happened. My beautiful, brilliant, charming son died suddenly and totally unexpectedly a day after his 37th birthday. Now I have no family.

My life was once normal. Now it is a freak's life. My friends are in another country, but even they are withdrawing, for a woman who has lost her only child is a cheerless character. There is not much you can think of saying to someone in her odd position. So I sit here, alone in the pretty flat I shared with my son until so very recently, in the country we came to four years ago. My son had lots of friends here from his previous residence, and made lots of new friends, for his is a gregarious, fun-loving nature. I am more conservative, and I was not in this country for twenty years. Besides, I work from home, so the usual way of meeting people is not open to me. That did not bother me, for my precious boy lit up my life. We dined out together often, we took some holidays together, we spent Christmas and birthdays together. He made time available for me. He was my family.

I now have a grief worker who visits, and an internet support line. Their work is to help one cope with grief. I gaze in disbelief. My grief will not lighten. How can it? And, in the wholly unlikely event that it does, what am I supposed to do? I have no family. I am a freak.
sophiejo123 sophiejo123 66-70 Aug 6, 2012

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