Why Are Bad Things Happening Too Me!!!!

Wht are "So" many bad things happening to me.....so many terrible things have happened to me,in fact it is so horrible that I believe a Higher Power has to intentionally targetted and chosen me to make me suffer. If there was a Lotto draw for the most unlucky person...I would win it! It started over 20 years ago. That"s where it all started! Do I live life has never been that great. Ive been planning my Death for years.My family rags on me every day and night. I go through day at a time. "People" yell at me Less than dirt"...I always wondered if there is Real "Love" in my family. It"s hard not to feel lonely and unloved in a home where there is "constant" ARGUING" put downs and fear. It"s hard to keep a rational mind and continusously remind yourself that this is the way they are. "But" it dosent mean they dont love you. I have a sense that my family with my well being that I will being that I will "Never" be well. As that has been the case for over 25 years of my Life. I can entrust my family with surving on the physical level "BUT" not Spiritual.I think that this is the reason why we turn to sucide alchol and drugs etc...to numb our heartaches even when we have love ones around us.When I experience strong desires or wish for the possibility to end my "Life" my mind always reverted me back to my responsiblities to my family.All These People Will Miss Me".....OH WELL........Anto815
Anto815 Anto815
46-50, F
8 Responses Jul 26, 2010

You are not taking time to own the good things that are happening everyday so busy adding life to the bad

Dear Relaxed Retired Lady, Bluebula Antash Sukhan, Let me start by saying im so sorry it;s taken so long to write back my computer died and I needed a new one... I want to thank you all for your kind words it meabs so much to me. You all really all have a :Heart". I would like to be all of your friends im having a hard time doing it if you all can try it would mean the world to me,I have a daughter who is 17 and I live for her if it wasent for her I don;t think I would be here today... Thanks again Hope to here from you soon if I am on chat I will be happy to chat.. Your riend....

There is relief from what you are experiencing. I know through experience, <br />
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Many times when people and the world are being cruel to us, they are actually projecting how they feel about themselves inside, they may know this and use it to their advantage, or they may do it subconsciously and do not realize how they really feel inside. Most of the time, we internalize they way people around us behave and feel that it is because of "me, i did it, i caused them to feel this way, i made them say that" This is not true. <br />
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What are your goals? Is your life in sync with those goals? if not what needs to change to get in sync with your goals?New job? Time alone? Health classes? Besides family, what are you passionate about? <br />
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Buddhism has some amazing things to say about the art of suffering and how to cope with it. You don't have to be religious to understand the concepts and put them into practice, you just have to really have the desire to make real change in your life. Here are some things that helped me. <br />
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Guided meditation, this link is just the beginning, there are thousands out there you can download for free. Just google meditation, self help, or hypnosis torrents to find more. <br />
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http://www.kickasstorrents.com/search/kelly%20howell%20brain%20sync%20/<br />
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The power of mantras, affirmations and/ or prayer is life changing, persistence and faith are the key here. <br />
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http://www.vitalaffirmations.com/affirmations.htm<br />
http://www.findingsantosha.com/mantra-japa-positive-affirmations.html<br />
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Learn about suffering from others in pain, use these experiences to learn, move on and grow. <br />
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http://www.some-guy.com/quotes/buddha.html#4th<br />
http://www.wildmind.org/blogs/truth-of-not-suffering<br />
http://online.sfsu.edu/~rone/Buddhism/footsteps.htm<br />
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I wish you many years of inner peace and happiness =) <br />
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Be Well

Family = often the worst place to find unconditional love. I stopped worrying about their opinions a few years back - it hurt - but I kept my sanity. We are in touch by phone maybe twice a year - Christmas and birthday, but generally we have chosen to live our own lives .<br />
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Perhaps you have been experiencing these spiritual trials because you need to look for LOVE in better places?<br />
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Know that God is mindful of your situation and cries with you. <br />
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You are also of the age when menopause may have started and the depression associated with this will not help , so maybe consider seeing a doctor for some anti-depressants during this life change - it certainly helped me.<br />
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take care :)

I am really sorry to hear this Anto , hang in there and God Guides you .<br />
it is like tongue4u said : "nothing is forever in this earth" .

Thankyou from the bottom of my heart Thankyou for you kind words and for reading my story it means so muh. Im sorry its taking so long in replying. Thanks again and have a nie day.

THANKYOU ALL FOR TAKING THE TIME OUT IN READING MY STORY. IT MEANS SO MUCH YOU ALL GAVE HELPFUL ADVICE AND I WILL DO MY BEST IN SINKING IT IN. IM SORRY IT HAS TAKING SO LONG TO WRITE THANK YOU ALL!!!

Hang in there Anto815. Try and buy the book Power of Positve Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. It helped me quite a bit.<br />
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God bless you.<br />
<br />
Bev