I am fighting thoughts of suicide.  I am a christian, a single mother of four and recently got sick.  I am unable to work and after an 16 year marriage and a 6 year nightmare supporting them on my own, I feel like a failure.  I have no family support.  I was born to a 13 year old mother who was is and always has been unstable.  My childhood was a nightmare and I have never felt love.  I feel like I always have to try harder.  I have been in counseling for the past eight months.  I wonder if I am doing anyone any good by being here. I haven't told my therapist.  I am afraid it will come back at me.....There was constant abuse growing up and I am struggling.  I am emotionally and physically exhausted.

nelsew nelsew
3 Responses Jul 22, 2009

I completely agree Kitty6500!<br />
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Much love from V

Ok so honey what ever you do don't give up ok!!!!! <br />
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I have been there. I have been raped, beaten, had cancer twice, had 2 heart surgeries. been in a horrible marriage. And that isn't even to the half way point of what I have been through. BUT.....I didn't give up oooooo I tried I have over dosed I became a bad cutter as well. You know tho i am so glad that none if it worked I really am. I now have a wonderful man a beautiful 5 year old daughter we just bought a house and for the first time in a VERY LONG TIME I am healthy.<br />
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Honey if you are down as low as you can go the only way from there is up. So give your self some time find some one to talk to you can message me if you want. and give your self credit you have survived things allot of ppl haven't you were strong enough to raise 4 children by yourself and you still are. You over came abuse and let me tell you that puts you in a class not many get to be in YOU SURVIVED IT remember that. You are important you are needed and you are loved.

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