Me. I Am What I Am.

I am a very fairly attractive female 26 year old. I have long blonde hair, and weigh about 105.  I am not very tall, only 5'3''.  I love to look good, and do myself up daily.  I don't want to ever be the old frumpy lady, or washed out mother. But, lately my life has me feeling like am an in rut.  I do the same thing each and every day.  Although I am engaged, I have been with the same for the last 7 years, I am not happy.  We have a few kids together.  I am pretty much their sole caregiver while he works.  I am under appreciated, and not loved the way I long to be.  I love my children with all my heart and soul, but feel its so unfair that I alone have to take full care of them.  Even in the bedroom, our relationship has been suffering really bad.  I have never so much as even entered a chat room, or something like this.  I am unsure what I am hoping to gain from it.  I know that I am lonely, and tired of the same daily routines.  Maybe this is my of reaching out to see if there are others like me.  

I did a lot of partying in my early years. I started young at 13..By 19 I was addicted to opiates and a borderline alcoholic.  Although I graduated top in my class with a 99 average.  I was very academic, but also the party chick.  I had my son at 16 and raised him myself with the help of my mother, and two younger sisters.  I moved into my apartment at 18, and got into heroin and opiates..It wasn't until I met my now fiance that I decided to get clean.  I have been for the last 6 years.  We have had more than our fair share of rough patches.  I even had trouble with law, due to an inconsiderate friend.  Although I am a brilliant person, I have never done much with my brains.  Now I am a stay at home mom in a relationship that has pretty much grew stale, and since I no longer do drugs my so called friends and I have long since stopped talking.  My family is a weird bunch.. My mom being bipolar un-medicated makes it rough.  My sisters are as different as night and day. One is younger, and very immature.  The other is great and a wonderful friend. I have lived it all, and yet I am bored!  I shouldn't be, but I feel like I need more. 

So for now there is a little bit about me..As I feel appropriate I may decide to disclose more about my life..Its been an interesting one so far, to say the least. 
abbymay26 abbymay26
26-30, F
4 Responses May 22, 2012

I to feel unappreciated It. is very frustrating My wife is disabled so I get the lack of sex We have young children as well You need to find away to get a degree and use the brain that has been given to you You will also be an even better role model for your children Once you have your degree then you will be free to have the life you want for yourself and your kids

Well, I must say how comforting and almost therapeutic it is to have you guys add your input. It's amazing how much a total stranger from miles away can make you feel at ease in your life. I thank all you for your input and kind words and advice!!! <br />
<br />
p.s.<br />
I don't know how to make someone my friend though?? lol!

Hello abbymay26,<br />
<br />
I saw your message and I thought that you are feeling very lonely sometimes. Specially with the taking care of your children. I understand your feelings about that. I think when you decide to marry with each other, you have to share anything with each other. Also the taking care of the children and doing the household.<br />
When you decide to stop working you probably have more time for those things, but I think it is important to share these things with your husband. In that way you have a common responsibility. Sorry for my bad english sometimes but I live in Holland in Europe and English is of course not my first language.<br />
Please will you make me friends with you. Perhaps we can write mails to each other about anything. In that way you have perhaps a feeling that you're not alone in this world. <br />
I hope to hear more from you.<br />
Bye for now<br />
jan

I can not figure out how to make people my friends on here? I'd love to though..

I never liked the idea of being a stay-home mom or housewife, becuase you sit under the roof all day with a bunch of hyper kids that can't sit still or stay out of trouble. Men who work with their wives or partners at home do not realize how much work it is to care for children and the house itself. It's not like you can go anywhere to get out and breathe, experience different settings or atmosphere, or be with friends becuase then, who will look out for your kids? Men always get to be the ones to escape the household and work these little shifts. Both of you are parents and both of you should spend time with your kids and contribute equal parenting.<br />
<br />
It is a good thing for kids to be raised by their own parents, but sometimes parents need to put their happiness as a priority as well. You cannot be a mother and be depressed at the same time becuase your kids are not stupid; they know when you're down.<br />
<br />
I think you should try to get out more. Put the kids in daycare, to a friend's, neighbor's or family's house and just get back out there and have a life. Trust me, you're kids are not going to die if they are cared by someone else. I know a lot of people/mothers are uptight about that. I would just make sure it's by someone you really trust.<br />
<br />
If your relationship with this guy is not so well, I would push the marriage date far back as possible. The last thing you want to do is marry someone you're not fully happy with along with problems that have not been resolved. You should talk to your fiance and not allow these problems to grow bigger. :)