Invisible Even With People Around

I have been sad for some time and think I am numb now. I don't even care anymore or do I.

I have been in a relationship for 6 years and it was great at the beginning. I would see him every weekend and we would do a lot of things together. We only had the two days but we made the most on it. We had many ups and downs, even breaking up for a bit but ended up getting back together and then we finally moved in together and everything was great. I am a mother of a 15 year old from my previous marriage and recently had another beautiful baby girl. I love my children, they mean the world to me and give me so much happiness. I just wish other things did as well. I was single/dating for sometime till I found my current boyfriend. He had always been a bit different than guys I had dated but he was honest and a really nice guy. I am attracted to him which is great but something is missing. I had tried for years to get him to be more romantic/passionate with me with no success. I would get angry or talk till I was blue in the face but he just didn't see it. To him everything was fine. This is the reason we broke up once. To me we are missing a very important connection without it. It has been a constant fight. You see I say I want him to spend quality time with me, to want to do things with me, to want to plan things for us, anything but he just comes home, eats dinner and then goes downstairs to his man cave to play video games. He says to just ask him to do something and he will. Well for years I did that. Asked him to watch a movie together, go out, do anything but if I didnt ask he didn't either. 6 years of this (now with a little one) I have given up the fight. He goes downstairs and I work on the computer, or watch tv or go out with friends or whatever. Just nothing together which as you can probably tell is making us fall apart as a couple. I am very lonely but also numb. I don't even know if I care anymore. I should. I should be still wanting to spend time together and fighting for it but I'm not.

I am very lonely. I want romance/passion the whole package but am doubting I want it with him anymore. I am resentful, hurt, angry, and just down. I read helpful books on what to do to get the passion back or started but I just don't feel like putting the effort into it. I don't feel like a sexy, attractive women anymore. This is really bringing me down. I am happy with my children and have fun with them but seeing my boyfriend doesn't make me happy anymore. I think I had tried to connect for so long that I have just gone the opposite way. I gave up.

How do I forgive? And get out of this funk.