I Am No Longer A PleaserMy early years were filled with anxiety , low self-esteem, and a terribly high need to be liked. I wanted to fit in and have others feel I was worthy. So I did whatever it took. "No" was not in my vocabulary.
Had I known the terrible toll it would take, I would have at a minimum been a little less flexible.
I am not completely sorry for every decision to acquiesce but I would have made different decisions far more often.
My fear is that perhaps I have shifted too far to where I seldom care a whole lot what others think. I feel I make good decisions on balance, but I can be rather hard nosed about certain beliefs I have.
I do not go out of my way to be antagonistic but I am a little less concerned if I get knocked off someones holiday card list.
I can be my own worst enemy at times, that is one of my weaknesses. I have done my best to be more open and less contentious about life in general.
I want to live my life in relative peace and harmony, I had to "not care" about people or their opinions. It took me many years but I am finally comfortable in my own skin without my life being a contentious existence.