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I Am No Longer A Pleaser

My early years were filled with anxiety, low self-esteem, and a terribly high need to be liked. I wanted to fit in and have others feel I was worthy. So I did whatever it took. "No" was not in my vocabulary.

Had I known the terrible toll it would take, I would have at a minimum been a little less flexible.

I am not completely sorry for every decision to acquiesce but I would have made different decisions far more often.

My fear is that perhaps I have shifted too far to where I seldom care a whole lot what others think. I feel I make good decisions on balance, but I can be rather hard nosed about certain beliefs I have.

I do not go out of my way to be antagonistic but I am a little less concerned if I get knocked off someones holiday card list.

I can be my own worst enemy at times, that is one of my weaknesses. I have done my best to be more open and less contentious about life in general.

I want to live my life in relative peace and harmony, I had to "not care" about people or their opinions. It took me many years but I am finally comfortable in my own skin without my life being a contentious existence.
deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Sep 12, 2012

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The balancing act is hard for sure. I struggle with this too at times...but it seems even more so right now. I'm glad you've found a way of balancing your life in a healthy way. It's nice to feel comfortable in your own skin. :)