And So It Is...

I am sitting at home alone right now in a darkroom. It's been like this for days. I can't seem to move, I feel frozen. My head hurts and my body aches, and my days are blending together. I'm not sure exactly why I feel like this.

Heartache, jealously, hunger, sleeplessness, depression,or perhaps the change in forecast might have something to do with it.

I currently have no job. Right now, I really need one, I'm on the verge of homelessness. I've supported myself since I was 16,but the only thing I know and have been exposed to is stripping. I miss the energy and freedom of dancing.The feeling of going on stage, but I don't want to go back.The drugs, the scandals, the lying, cheating, stealing, I hated myself. I used to come home to an empty apartment and do lines of blow until 5am alone. Wake up a few hours later and do it allover again. My daily routine... roll out of bed and crack open a beer or take a shot of vodka. Do a line, take a shower, go to the club, get ready, have a cocktail, find the men with the heaviest pocket, party, money,blow,smack,money, fight,blow,drink,drink,money,ect...ect. ****

I'll write more later..Idk if anyone actually will read this, this is my first post,I'm new to this seemed private enough to vent.

underpressure29 underpressure29
Sep 13, 2012